Legends of the Drunken Master

I've Moved

2005-04-20T11:24:00.000-04:00

Legends of the Drunken Master has moved to masterfoley.com. Update you Feeds and BlogRolls.

New Beginnings

2005-04-14T09:12:00.000-04:00

This weekend I have this fucker's birthday party.

This is my best friend Jason. We are going to Keeneland for the day on Saturday. Then out to eat at Tomo's. Finally to the Blue Moon to shake our booty.

Plan on not hearing from me until Monday morning and probally not until later in the afternoon. Tonight Paddy Wagon's is on like Donkey Kong. I have a Beer Card that is begging to be finished. Tomorrow I have the day off, so I'm going to Keeneland with my brother for the Maker's Mark Thoroughbreds & Red Heads Day.

The Web-Divas will be implementing my new blog template sometime today, so look for the new look soon. Oh and I have purchased a domain name (masterfoley.com), so update your BlogRolls.

Ten on Tuesday

2005-04-12T13:39:00.000-04:00

Ten Favorite Foods

1) Pretzels
2) General Tso’s chicken
3) Chicken & Dumplings from Cracker Barrel
4) Perogies
5) Reese’s peanut butter cups
6) Sushi
7) Burgoo – Keeneland makes the best
8) My mom’s spaghetti
9) Chocolate Delight – dessert a friend makes – delish
10) Shrimp – favorite food as a kid

Operation Party: Success

2005-04-11T14:27:00.000-04:00

I came home Friday after work to a fridge full of party platters from Blimpie. Hopped in the shower to clean myself up from a hard days "work". Poured myself an Amberbock and watched the daily drama of my next door neighbor and her fuck buddy from a couple of doors down. I hope the never completely call it off. It's the best Soap Opera in town.

Nothing freaks ya out more than when a cop pulls into your parking lot to chit-chat with someone and you have underage people coming over to drink. He left and everyone arrived without incident. I should say one. My brother took the most hellathious dump in my toilet upstairs. As our mother would say, "The smell could gag a maggot."

With that out of the way we could party. And as everyone knows by now I love to party. There is something magical about having your own party. Knowing everyone is having a great time and you brought it together. The highlight of the night was when I called Tex to see if he was still gonna make it. I got the impression when I called that he wasn't. Not but ten minutes later someone hugs me from behind while I was outside smoking. I had no clue who it was. Seemed everyone was accounted for in my quick scan. Once I was free there was Tex. I love hanging out with this kid.

On with the pictures that we all know are worth a 1000.

You go Birthday Girl.

I'm like Charlie and his Angels.

Look at this kid. I taught him everything I know.

Arbanna and the Shocker. YEAH!

Tiny. That girl was just not right. LOL

Tex and his lady friends.
I taught him everything I know too.

Look at that booty. Absolutely fabulous.

What is with me an shit-eating gins.
Oh I know. A hottie on my front and back.

Birthday Girl Tara dancing under the stars.

The PIMP says good-bye to the ladies.
And before I go. Licking Peppermint Schnapps off of boobies is mighty fun and delicious.

Hottie of the Week

2005-04-11T09:09:00.000-04:00

Last week, Emperor Joe mentioned that Mena Suvari needs to be a Hottie. I replied, "You are absolutely correct." This week we have the stunning beauty from American Beauty and American Pie.

IMDb has a lot more info on Mena.

Party Tonight

2005-04-08T10:21:00.000-04:00

That's right I'm having a suprise birthday party for the lovely Tara.

Oddly Enough

2005-04-07T09:37:00.000-04:00

Last night I was at the Fun*Asylum for Manley's D&D game and the crew was waiting to get started. Two scantly clad ladies were strolling up the street with this dude. One girl was barely wearing a tank top that showed most of her tight stomach and her ass was hanging out of her shorts. Then we hear Helmut proclaim, "My old lady has panties that over more flesh than those shorts." Everyone busted out laughing.

peculiar about this scene is the dude was wearing a parka and the weather in KY was pushing over 70 degrees. Everyone came to the conclusion that this guy must be the girl's pimp. As the true PIMP knows pimps gotta be practical. A parka in the early evening of a hot spring day is just not practical.

At this point everyone had enough and flood outside to get a better look at the ladies. One was swing from the lamp post at this point. After some hooting, hollering, and cat-calls the girls scampered off to their apartment up the street. With the distraction gone we attempted to play D&D. As I have mentioned before many times a game will melt into dribble. We tried so hard to stay on task but that distraction was etched into our craniums.

The game session was over and we parted ways, Manley and I walked up to the street corner to where I had to cross the street and he had to head in the opposite direction to his apartment. There that girl was bent over the railing in front of her apartment. Could the gods be any crueler too me?

Sex?

2005-04-05T14:36:00.000-04:00

No I'm not out asking the blogsphere to help me end my dry spell. But if there are any takers. *WINK*

I just thought it amusing the other day while driving to work I saw a bull mounting a heifer. Just going to town. Animals having sex is some of the funniest shit on the planet. You know that scene in Bad Boys 2 when Marin Lawrence sees two rats humping. He crackles over the radio to Will Smith, "Papa rat is humping mama rat. They have sex like we do." You get the idea: animals having sex is funny. Makes me laugh every time.

Now Paula over at UltraBlog was commenting on this news story, and I had read the same thing over at Yahoo! News. The stories rehashs the findings that teens are having more oral sex than vaginal sex. I said to myself, "Well duh." When President Clinton says on National TV that it's not sex what are kids gonna think. Oral sex is sex, people. Look! It has the word "sex" in it.

Why do we have to be such a sexually repressed nation? For those of us that have had sex we know it feels good. Oh did I mention the monsoon season hasn't started yet.

On a side note, Playdough Enterprises has finally (with bated breath) updated their blog with some choice phatties. Maybe I could slap one of those phatties and ride the wave to the Promise Land.

Ten on Tuesday

2005-04-05T11:13:00.000-04:00

10 News Stories You Are Sick Of

1) Sprint-Nextel merger
2) GW rants
3) Hillary Clinton rants
4) NCAA Tournament – poor Cats
5) Excuses about Fuel Costs
6) War in Iraq
7) Britney Spears being fat
8) Martha Stewart
9) The Pope
10) Michael Jackson and his Jesus Juice

Blah

2005-04-04T15:31:00.000-04:00

What a relatively boring ass weekend I had.

I watched Degrassi and RFR which I haven't gotten to see in a long time since I have been watching SciFi Channel on Fridays. My brother had some friends over to cook their "family" dinner. Normally they cook in the dorm, so I got to give him all kinds of shit. It was so much fun embarrassing him in front of his friends. They loved it and he took it well. What are brothers for?

Saturday I got up fairly early because I thought I was going to get my hair cut. Carolyn had called me earlier in the week to schedule it for a later time on Saturday which quite honestly was better. I could actually sleep in, but she called me early to let me know she might have to cancel since her daughter had gotten sick while spending the night at a friends. Carolyn never called me back so I thought I was still getting my hair cut. At 10:30 I was at Salon 116 and waited. Waited for about 20 minutes before I left. Hopefully Carolyn will call me to reschedule.

Next was my usually D&D Minis tournament at Fun*Asylum. I had to play Manley Holiday in the first round. I'm the man with the best win percentage I have bragging rights and most people boast that they are gonna take me down. Very few accomplish that. What was too funny is that Manley and I brought the same exact Warbands to the table. Die rolls prevailed on his part and won the match. He then had to play two other exciting matches; one of which he did lose. My next two matches were a joke since I had to play two of the younger kids and both gave up before the match was over. I felt bad. I felt worse scoring a second place finish over Manley's fourth place finish. I didn't even have to work for any of the results.

After that I stayed late to play in a Star Wars minis tournament that featured the new set that was released that day. We had twelve people play in a tournament that cost $40 because you had to buy a starter and a booster. What an amazing turnout. It was a blast.

It was eleven o'clock and I rolled over to my parents to drop the G.D.O. ("garage door opener" if you are a Stargate SG-1 geek) that I forgot to do when I left Friday. I also needed to pick all the stuff I left there. It was late Friday and I just wanted to sleep in my own bed for a change. My mom washed my cloths for me that I left there even washed my A&F scrub pants that I didn't even wear that week. Also nicked my 4-quart pot my mom bought be back in college. Works wonders for cooking pasta; no boiling over. Then I went home and watched Unfaithful.

Sunday morning I woke up to candle wax all over the place. See the night before I was trying to gingerly melt two candles together. Then I forgot about those candles when I went to bed. Thank goodness I didn't burn the apartment down. I had wax pooled on each shelf and nice drip paths down the top to the bookshelf down to the bottom. Wax was splattered all over the carpet and pulled in a huge hunk in front of the bookshelf which I have still not gotten up. Most of the wax is off the bookshelf but still all over the carpet. Anyone have any ideas?

Went and played D&D like I normally do on Sunday afternoons. I came home and started watching 10 Things I Hate About You. About halfway through the movie the doorbell rings. My doorbell never rings. Guess who it is? Come on any guess. Well it was the crazy neighbor that likes to interrupt me while I'm watching TV. I was nice this time and invited her in. Let me tell she pushes my envelop of patients. She comes into my house and proceeds to tell me about all her "love" problems and shit. Like I give a rat's ass about her issues. At least it made me get up and put my laundry away that was clean before last weekend but never put away because I was taking care of the mutt.

Did I mention I forgot to change the time on my clocks so I missed church on Sunday too. I had every intention of going. While I was talking to the crazy neighbor I changed my clocks too.

This morning I went to the bathroom to poop like I usually do in the morning and someone had pissed all over the seat. I'm not talking a little dribble here and there but all over the fucking seat. Like the guy was a fucking painter. Took me like five minutes to wipe the thing off. I'm enjoying my poop and the guy that entered the stall next to me screeches like a girl and shouts, "Cockroach!" My goodness what a wuss. Hopefully the rest of the week will be better, sports-fans.

Hottie of the Week

2005-04-04T10:12:00.000-04:00

Over the weekend I borrowed Unfaithful from my parents starring Diane Lane. What a steamy thriller. I highly recommend it. For that Diane Lane is this week's hottie.

Ms. Lane has that unbelievable smile. She has a nice pair of legs too. Check out her official site for more information.

Downward Spiral

2005-04-01T14:19:00.000-05:00

I wasn't going to post anything about Paddy Wagon's last night because frankly it sucked ass and I don't want people to feel obligated to give condolences through cyberspace on a trivial matter. I inquired with Kristi about dinner, and she explained she had a boyfriend and didn't realize I was asking like that. Well true I was asking like that but wasn't expecting anything but companionship. Then she said we can still do it as friends which is just a cop out. I'm not going to get in the way and possible cause issues. Seems I'm only ever good enough to be someone's friend.

Now on to the good stuff. Beer. Several people had to take it easy on the spending for next couple of weeks because they just recently got permanent employment I was left drinking with Ben's two friends, Hungry and Andrew. These guys are OK but I barely know them and don't appreciate people that give me shit when they don't know me. I was "late" last night because I have a Commissioner's meeting.

Beer number one for the evening was Murphy's, an Irish Stout. Like all stouts was dark and creamy. It was interesting reading the propaganda on the can about the "draughtflow" that makes the beer pour from the can as if it was from a tap. Good stuff. Give it a try if you like dark beers or stouts.

Beer number two was a Negra Modelo, Mexican dark beer. My Internet research showed that Grupo Modelo brews Pacífico and even Corona. I guess we can call these the Anheuser-Busch of our neighbors to the south. Needless-to-say, Negra Modelo was an excellent beer. I would even say it's better than Dos Equis, and I love Dos Equis. If you like Dos Equis or dark beers you gotta give Negra Modelo a whirl.

Beer number three was a trusty Amberbock and we all know how I feel about this gem. I decided to save the rest of the beers on the Card for when I could celebrate with friends. I wasn't feeling my normal celebratory mood at this moment and wanted to go home.

On a side note, Kristi was convinced to discuss with the owner about adding a couple of more beers to the List. I was out last summer at one of my favorite restaurants in Lexington called the Atomic Cafe. They serve some of the best Caribbean food. The have this rum cake with fresh fruit that is to die for. Atomic was serving a micro-brew from a company called Flying Dog. Doggie Style was their darker beer and with a name like that I was hooked. The stuff is awesome.

Before anyone asks. None of this is an April Fool's joke.

It's True

2005-03-31T12:04:00.000-05:00

You Are An Elm Tree

You are easygoing and a pleasure to be around.
Good looking, you have a pleasant shape and tasteful clothes.
You demand little in others, but you tend not to forgive their mistakes.
Dominant, you like to lead and enjoy making decisions for others.
Overall, you are cheerful, honest, noble, generous, and funny.

What is Your Celtic Horoscope?

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Take the quiz at dicepool.com

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Been awhile since I have posted some quizzes for my fellow bloggers. Enjoy.

Stupid Dog

2005-03-30T22:58:00.000-05:00

I get home from work to let Maggie out and then to feed her. Fucking dog decided she would dig up the soil in a potted plant my mother left out in the garage. I just don't get it.

Lovely Day

2005-03-30T00:14:00.000-05:00

I swear sometimes it doesn't pay to wake up in the morning. Everything was fairly smooth this morning considering I have to sleep in a lumpy spring-ridden twin mattress with a dog. I let her out and feed her then hop in the shower. Usually she is right outside the door being nosy but this morning I found her curled up in the bed. She was acting like she was sleeping. I thought this a bit odd but figured it was better then her pestering me. I bound down stairs to put my lunch together and round the corner of the hallway and find a little Lincoln Log near the end of the table. At least its solid I thought to myself. Around the corner there is another one. Great.

I get a paper towel to pick up the logs and as I bent over to pick up the original loaf in the dimly lit hallway I spy another piece of poop. I bend over and pick up that piece of poop only to see another two lumps at the other end of the hallway. This is when the dog knows she fucked up and skitters into the laundry room to hide. Thank goodness I hadn't stepped in those piles in the hallway or I would have been livid.

I take the dog outside and dispose of the turds in the yard. I leave her outside and proceed to clean up the spots on the carpet. Then I hunt around the house to make sure she didn't leave any other turd pyramids. Try to be nice the beast and what does she do but shit all over the place. Damn dog is sleeping in the garage tonight.

Ten on Tuesday

2005-03-29T14:44:00.001-05:00

Ten Great Moments in TV

1) Smurfs
2) Seinfeld series finale
3) Janet’s boob at the Superbowl
4) “Where’s The Beef?” commercials
5) Survivor All-Star season finale
6) Iron Chef
7) MTV – way back in the day when they played videos
8) Howard Stern’s ass during the 1993 MTV Music Awards
9) Block Party in NY during the black out in 200?
10) 1998 NCAA tournament – Go Cats

Quest

2005-03-29T11:23:00.000-05:00

My parents have gone out of town to Charleston, SC for their anniversary, and I have to take care of the mutt, Maggie, this week.

She is a great dog, but I swear can be a pain in the ass sometimes. She has to sleep in the bed with you. In a twin bed in my brother's room that doesn't leave much room for you. She begs for food like she never gets feed too.

I told my parents I would work on their computer. Seems they had an issue with Norton Anti-Virus and uninstalled it. Now they can't find the CD-ROM to reinstall it. Last night I installed AOL Instant Messenger and Yahoo! Instant Messenger because I will be spending most of my nights at the house. I didn't want to get bored. The Internet was running really slow, so I ran Ad-Aware and SpyBot to hopefully get rid of the spyware and adware on the computer. I then installed AVG free anti-virus for them. Then installed some Windows Updates XP was begging to be installed. Then I decided I better defrag the hard drive. Let me just say that this too all fucking night. Needless to say I didn't get to go searching for any PORN. When I get home I still have to scan the registry for spyware entries that weren't removed by Ad-Aware and SpyBot.

Also found out that someone hacked the router and changed the password, so when my parents get home I have to fix that for them. The Internet works right now, so I'm not gonna worry about it. The shit I do for my parents.

Hottie of the Week

2005-03-28T09:09:00.000-05:00

This week we have a couple of hotties I found while searching for images of the Bush twins.

If this doesn't make you patriotic, I don't know what will.
Enjoy.

99 Bottles

2005-03-25T10:54:00.000-05:00

I went home after work to get something to eat and catch up on some Stargate SG-1 episodes before heading out to Paddy Wagon's. If you remotely like sci-fi, saw the movie, or think Richard Dean Anderson is hot watch this show. It's awesome. Emperor Joe calls me and says he is ten minutes from the bar. My cue to get ready to leave.

As ususal I park on the side of the bar. It's really cool now because they have poles down the length of the building with Irish flags blowing in the wind. Very cool. Joe is at a bar table with a PBR in hand. I sit down and light up a cigarette with him.

I get this tap on my shoulder and I looked over one shoulder and then the other. Nothing. Went back to smoking. Then I was thinking man that's weird. No one showed themselves. I look over my shoulders again. Nothing. A moment passes and I look down behind my chair there was Kristi. She stands up and hands me my Beer Card.

I order a St. Pauli Girl to start the day off. One of Germany's famous beers. Very crisp and clean. Like most German beers it has that somewhat awful aftertaste. As Emperor Joe stated it tasted like a skunk. Very much an acquired taste. If you like German beer and haven't tired this beer be sure to. Personally I would wonder why if you are drinking German beer why you haven't had a St. Pauli Girl yet.

Next was a Blue Moon. Brewed by Coors. This little gem has a nice amber color, but it's Belgium brewing process gives it a opaque sheen. Your pint glass is garnished with an orange slice makes it taste oh so good. Definitely give this one a try.

Then I had a Czechvar. As the name suggests this beer comes from the Czech Republic. Not to bad but I liked Pilsner Urquell better. About the time I was finishing off this beer Ben and his friends showed up. Low and behold Ben bring a woman with him.

Joe and I with Joe's friend, Dave, go up to join them in one of the larger booths. This mystery woman's name is Jamie seemed like a cool chica. She liked beer. Always a plus in my book. She was checking me out most of the night but I didn't want to cock block because Ben needs all the help he can get.

Back to the beer. Paddy's just recently put Smithwick's on tap. I really liked Smithwick's. Brewed and imported by Guinness and it's Ireland's oldest ale. Deep in color with a nice white foamy head tasted a lot like Guinness. If you like Guinness you know what to do with Smithwick's.

At this point I'm buzzing pretty good. Ben's lady friend had a Bass and didn't really enjoy it. I had been saving this one because even though I have never had one I knew I would like it. I'm a big fan of beers from the British Isles. Sure enough I enjoyed the crisp clean taste with a slight bitter aftertaste you can't find in American beers. Always watered down to make them more palatable to the masses. Bass is a classic beer. Put it on your list if you haven't tried it.

Finally to finish off the night I had a Hefeweizen, a wheat beer. I'm not a huge fan of wheat beers the aftertaste doesn't appeal to me. Maybe someone can write a more impartial review. Although I love Sam Adams Cherry Wheat. That hint of cherry makes it so much fun to drink.

That was the night. I only have five beers left on the Beer Card. Although I'm thinking about asking Paddy Wagon's to add a few more of my favorites to the list.

Oh wait. You probably want to hear how things went with Kristi. I couldn't of asked for better outcome. Kristi sat down with me when she brought me my tap and I said to her, "You have to let me cook you dinner sometime." "Really you can cook." "Sure I can." "What's your specialty." "I can make really good spaghetti." "Meatballs?" "I can see what I can do." Kristi will be out of town for Easter and is helping a friend on her days off next week. We decided to figure it out next Thursday.

Leap of Faith

2005-03-24T14:35:00.000-05:00

After I posted the picture of Kristi and me from St. Patick's Day everyone was either asking me who she is or telling me she is hot. Many of those people kept asking me why I don't ask her out, and I really can't give them a good reason why. Other than I'm a pussy.

Since I'm trying to be more confident person and show other women that I have a lot to offer. I will be talking to Kristi this evening. I was thinking of asking her if I could make her dinner. We all know I'm not too shabby.

I tell ya it has been eating at my insides all week that I'm gonna have to do this. I just been so nervous. Last night I was thinking that those few times that I have taken the bull by the horns and talked to a girl I have done alright for myself. I said gee I can take a Leap of Faith one more time (or as many as it takes) and see what happens. Even if I fall flat on my face at least I tried.

Along with a beer review tomorrow, I let you know what Kristi says.

Pearly Whites

2005-03-23T17:31:00.000-05:00

I didn't get to work today until 9:30. I scheduled a dentist appointment while I was enjoying my day off. I haven't been to the dentist in four and half years. Not having insurance will do that to ya. They treated me like a new patient since I hadn't been there in so long. Had to have new x-rays and re-verified my medical history. One of the x-rays was a panoramic x-ray. I had to bite down on this mouthpiece, put my hands on these handlebars then the imaging screen automatically came down and spun around my head. Felt like I was in Total Recall. Boy did my hygenist had to scrap some tartar off my teeth, especially around my retainer. That wire gets so much nasty shit on it. Everything checked out and I have no decay. Yeah. Also, figured out why, as of late, I have been having those headaches. Seems I grind my teeth in my sleep. Stress related, so I'm going to be fitted for a mouth guard.

Thought I would leave you with this funny pic I found.

Reminds me of those commercials Dole did for Viagra.

The Force is Strong with this One

2005-03-22T11:08:00.000-05:00

:: how jedi are you? ::

I'm Alive

2005-03-22T10:30:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I called in sick and took the day off. I slept in and later wondered upstairs to watch some old episodes of Stargate SG-1. It was two in the afternoon and I decided I better take a shower and go grocery shopping. I went to the bank and transferred money from Savings to Checking so I could by said food. Then I took the elevator upstairs and scheduled a cleaning at my dentist. Nice and convenient huh? Went to Wal-Mart and spent $150 on what I thought would be food for two people. More on that later. Went home and made dinner and watched more Stargate. It was a nice and relaxing day. Seems that my supervisor never got my message that I was going to be out yesterday because he and and everyone else was calling my cell phone wondering where I was. When I got to work this morning Emperor Joe showed me this nice pic he made for me.

I think I should have stayed in bed this morning. On my way to work I couldn't get off on my normal exit because a Semi Truck wouldn't let me get over. I had to go to the next exit and loop back around on the state road back to my normal exit. Then I cross the bridge into the next count and I'm about to the By-Pass in Winchester. A cop pulls me over. I give him my license and insurance. He comes back with my ticket and says I was going 70 in a 55. I said, "I know I wasn't going faster than 65." He said, "That's why you have a court date to contest the citation." Great. Just what I need.

Now back to that grocery thing. I said I thought I was buying for two but not anymore. Dave came by the apartment and said he was moving back in with the succubus. He did say he would pay rent for April to give me time to find a new roommate. I'm thinking that now that I make more money I can easily afford my own place. I just might do that so I won't have to deal with this shit anymore.

Now things get even better. Ben, the GrimSage, tells me that one of his friends that isn't all that attractive mentions that I have no chance in Hell. Gee could this shit stop rolling down hill.

Ten on Tuesday

2005-03-22T10:05:00.000-05:00

10 Things You're Good At

1) Making people laugh
2) Drinking beer
3) Navigation – you know follow directions and not getting lost
4) Compassion
5) Surfing the Internet
6) Poetry
7) Photography
8) Miniature games
9) Solving other people’s problems but my own
10) Cunnilingus - hehe

Hottie of the Week

2005-03-21T08:00:00.000-05:00

This week's Hottie is the lovely Teryl Rothery. Teryl played Dr. Janet Frasier on SciFi Channel's Stargate SG-1.

Fraiser was an integral part of the show until she was killed off at the end of Season Seven. Check out more on Teryl's character at GateWorld. Be sure to check out her official site.

Green With Envy?

2005-03-18T09:32:00.001-05:00

What a St. Paddy's Day. I had such an awesome time. Paddy Wagon's was packed to the gills with people. Paddy Wagon's had different local acts on stage playing live music in support of local music. A picture is worth a thousand words, so I just put a small caption under each one.

I started the night off with a Guiness.
The rest of the night was green beer.
There was a Jager Bomb in there somewhere.

Shocker bitches.

Doesn't Ben look like a pissed of leprachan.
I guess someone stole his "pot" of gold.

Here we have Joe the ghetto leprachan.

I'm getting my nipples tweeked like no other.

My favorite bartender Kristi.

The funniest thing all night.
Kristi brought Ben is own special beer bottle.

Yummy

2005-03-17T14:25:00.000-05:00

Had one of those Oscar Mayer Lunchables for lunch today. This one came with a Reese's Cup and a Capri Sun. I remember when Capri Suns hit the market. They were the coolest things ever. You could suck every drop of that sweet liquid out without giving yourself and anyourism. That and you could blow up the pounch and stomp on it to shot the straw across the room. Fun stuff.

Yummy for sure.

Sure Enough

2005-03-17T14:18:00.000-05:00

Bourbon
Congratulations! You're 102 proof, with specific scores in beer (100) , wine (33), and liquor (60).

Screw all that namby-pamby chick stuff, you're going straight for the
bottle and a shot glass! It'll take more than a few shots of Wild
Turkey or 99 Bananas before you start seeing pink elephants. You know
how to handle your alcohol, and yourself at parties.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 7% on proof
You scored higher than 93% on beer index
You scored higher than 84% on wine index
You scored higher than 86% on liquor index

Link: The Alcohol Knowledge Test written by hoppersplit on Ok Cupid

Just had to know.

Happy St. Patrick's Day

2005-03-17T10:37:00.000-05:00

I'm always dumbfounded when that question on surveys comes up: "What is your favorite holiday?" I never know what to say. Halloween? I loved Halloween as a kid but not so much now. Thanksgiving? I love getting together with family but it's just an excuse to eat good food. Christmas? Love the Christian aspect of this holiday but despise the secular commercialism.

St. Paddy's Day? I have always been fond of this holiday. Always made sure days before I'd have my green clothes laid out, so I wouldn't forget to wear them. Now that I'm older it's a great excuse to get drunk. St. Patrick's Day will be my holiday that I will celebrate with much fervor.

Roommate update. Dave will be bringing this succubus to my place of sanctuary. Thursday nights at Paddy Wagon's. I don't necessarily have an issue with this but I do. Then he says that he is probably not going to stay the whole night. I ask, "Are you gonna give me a ride home?" He shrugs. WTF? Looks like I'm taking a cab home tonight.

Wait. It gets better. Seems the succubus might be spending the night. Geez. Dave didn't even ask me if it was OK. I guess I might have to do some demon slaying tonight if he can't get this succubus's claws out of his back.

On to funnier things. Now that everyone knows that I'm a Republican, I have to share that we have a very left Democrat on our team. We love to give him hell because he can't argue politically with compromise. As a joke we made him an undercover Republican ID card with his picture on it and it said, "I love Dubya."

Here we have this great image of ol' Dubya as the big PIMP that he is. Dubya has got the cane and everything. Classic. Now in the background you can see ol' Skip relaying some confidential Democrat propaganda to Mrs. Cheney. Too funny. Skip our secret agent in the Democrat camps.

In closing, what where your picks for the NCAA Tournament. I have Kentucky squaring off against Louisville for all the marbles. Far fetched indeed but seemed probable.

Roommate Update

2005-03-16T11:27:00.000-05:00

Dave has shown up for work everyday so far this week. Now I ask him if he is coming home. He just shrugs and has yet to come home this week. I'm starting to get a tad bit irritated by this. Thursday is a day away and it's his turn to drive to Paddy Wagons. I plan whole heartedly to get crazy drunk, and he better be there to drive me home.

I swear I'm gonna unsheathe my axe and slay this unholy hose beast.

Ten on Tuesday

2005-03-15T11:22:00.000-05:00

Ten Favorite Literary Characters

1) Tom Sawyer – The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain
2) Lessa – Dragonflight by Anne McCaffrey
3) Death – On a Pale Horse by Piers Anthony
4) Sara Pezzini – Witchblade comic – David Wohl & various
5) Aspen Mathews – Fathom comic – Micheal Turner & various
6) Al Simmons – Spawn comic by Todd McFarlane
7) Hamlet – Hamlet by William Shakespeare
8) Guy Montag – Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
9) Ryld Argith – War of the Spider Queen - various
10) Drizzt Do’Urden – The Crystal Shard by R.A. Salvatore

What to do?

2005-03-14T14:01:00.000-05:00

I spent my lunch hour calling various credit card companies, so that I could cancel those cards. Thus putting into motion the process of cleaning them from my credit report. Aye the stupid shit I did in college. Now onto more stupid shit.

Let's talk about my roommate, Dave. We were at lunch Friday and his ex-girlfriend called him two or three times. One point she left a voicemail that if he didn't call she was gonna come to work and confront him. He called her back and she wanted him to come to her "new" apartment and talk to him. He told her that he had to go home and would be back down.

We get home. I go downstairs to take care of some things and I hear him leave the apartment. I'm over at my parents as usual watching SciFi Friday. Remember, no Cable and mom was making dinner. Oh yeah. I arrive home at 11:30 just as I had left my apartmetn. Dave didn't come home.

I go play D&D Minis and get home around four o'clock. Still no Dave. I'm beginning to worry that this bitch ate him or something. I call him. No answer. Checked my usual Internet stuff and decided to call Emperor Joe to see that he was doing. Joe suggests that I come down there and we'll go out and get some movies. Sounds good, so I roll on down to Berea. I tell him about Dave not coming home as of when I got there. About 5:30. I call Dave again. Still no answer.

Joe, his wife, and I go out to Blockbuster to pick up some movies. Joe's wife, McKenzie couldn't believe that I had seen most of the movies that were out. I said, "I have over 200 DVDs at home and since we have begun burning DVDs at work I've gotten close to 80 more." We settled on The Grudge and The Punisher. Joe and McKenzie wanted to scare me with The Grudge. I suggest we go to Papa Leno's for dinner. Papa Leno's is this small little Italian place in the downtown square that has some of the most wonderful food ever. They bake their bread fresh daily. Nuff said.

I must digress for a moment because Master Foley always like to stop and appreciate the ladies. The true PIMP in me. There was the quite attractive girl working there. I was eying her the whole time. Just had a pleasant quality about her. She sat down with some friends to eat. I guess she was on her break. She was wearing some baggy pants that sat low on her hips and there her grey thong was peeping out a considerable distance. I was mesmerized the entire time. Now mind you she probably wasn't much more than sixteen, but the PIMP can appreciate the fine woman that she will be in a few years.

Back on track. Dave finally calls me. Says he is getting some clothes and going back to Winchester to spend the night. WHAT!! "What are you doing?" Then he tells me she is at the apartment. Great! Now this stupid bitch knows where we live. Wonderful.

We watch The Grudge and drank a few beers. I didn't find the moive to be all that great. I hate scary movies. They provide no entertainment value to me what-so-ever. That and I kept falling asleep. I think the beer had something to do with that. Then we watched The Punisher. Again I kept falling asleep but what I saw a much better movie. More along the lines of what I enjoy.

Sunday rolls around and I head out for my D&D games. I get home around six and take care of my laundry, find something to eat, the usual. Dave calls me to let me know that once again he is staying in Winchester and will be going to work from there. Cripes. What the fuck?

Is the moon full? Is Hell freezing over? Are cats humping dogs? What is going on here?

Hottie of the Week

2005-03-14T10:01:00.000-05:00

This week's Hottie is the lovely Lexa Doig. Lexa currently has a role on the SciFi Channel series, Andromeda.

There has been a lot of discussion around the office about her role on Stargate SG-1. The discussion boils down to the fact that Michael Shanks, Daniel Jackson on SG-1, gets to bang her every night. Lexa is his wife. Lucky bastard.

Be sure to check out this excellent fan site.

Beer in Review

2005-03-11T13:02:00.000-05:00

Once again it's that day after a night at The Paddy Wagon. Last night I attended the District Banquet for Scouting with my family. I made everyone go because I nominated my father for the District Award of Merit. It was very disappointing that he didn't receive the award. My brother commented that one of the individuals seems to just do so many things to make himself look good. It was so true and my father has done so much behind the scenes for Scouting even after both of his sons earned their Eagle Scout. He deserves the recognition. Regardless it was nice to spend an evening with my family. I rushed home to change clothes. It would have looked way goofy to show up to a bar in my scout uniform, neckerchief and all.

I race back to Paddy Wagon's to get my drink on. I realize I have to keep my tab under ten dollars because it's now been three weeks since I got a paycheck. Ugh. Kristi sees me and asks me what I want. I said, "Bring me something I left." There Dave was shouting, "I finished my Beer Card!" He had nine beers left and finished them in two hours. He must have been real pissed off after talking to his ex-girlfriend. See supposedly she is pregnant and called him balling that he doesn't want to take responsibility. Dave doesn't want to have anything to do with her until he knows for sure that it's his child. The girl is just loopy in the head. In Dave's defense at one time he was more than willing to go shopping with her for new closes because she was getting big. He wanted to go with her to make sure she wasn't buying weed with the money. Not quite a model mother here. This is why sometimes people of the should not live together until they are married.

Anyways back to the beer or in this case another cider, Stongbow. What can I say it was sweet, tasted like champagne. It was good stuff if you were looking for a cider.
Next, off the list was Windhoek, brewed and imported from Nambia. Had that nice imported smell. Easily worth a try if you want something different. By this time Dave has had a Jager Bomb and two draft Amberbocks. I finish off the night with a MGD. Never was a fan of this Miller product, but it was on sale that night and kept me under my $10 tab requirement. Dave is plastered and it was Spring Break for EKU do the Wagon was dead last night. We settled up early with Kristi and roll on home to put Dave to bed.

Don't for get that next week is St. Patrick's Day. Master Foley will be taking the night off to drink Guinness and green beer to celebrate. I'll be sure to chronicle the night's events. Don't you fret. On a side note I think BlogExplosion is paying a cruel joke on my during my moment of sexual frustration.

Death and Destruction

2005-03-10T13:19:00.001-05:00

You scored as Anarchism. <'Imunimaginative's Deviantart Page'>

Anarchism

83%

Socialist

67%

Republican

67%

Communism

58%

Green

50%

Democrat

33%

Fascism

17%

Nazi

What Political Party Do Your Beliefs Put You In?
created with QuizFarm.com

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Muhaha. I like this. Reminds me of my Centrist view on government. Close behind is Republican. I like this too. Everyone should know by now that I am very much a Republican and support our President 100%; eventhough he can be a complete moron at times. My educational background says that Socialism and Communism are ideal economic models but will never work given human nature. See definately not a Democrat or a Fascist.

It's quite comical in my parent's house when political discussions arise. For example. My mother is a staunch democrat and my grandparents are staunch democrats. I tease my brother that our mother has brainwashed him into being a democrat. Anywho. On the evening of Election Day we were having family dinner and discussing the election. My mother loved Bill Clinton and I despised him. I felt that his presidency rode the coattails of our golden age economy. I said the last great president we had was Ronald Reagan. Granted I was pretty young when he was in office but later in college I grew to appreciate what he did for our country. My mother immediately had to disagree. Now my father got involved. He explained that Reagan may not have done a lot but he had respect for the Office that he held. Wore a suit and wasn't getting a blow job in Oval Office. Right then and there my brother and I lost it. Our father who was very strict on how we were brought up said blow job at the dinner table. My family's dynamics have changed so much since I have moved out of the house, my brother has gone to college, and my parents are now grandparents(LOL).

It's amazing the simple enriching things in your life are when you learn something new. I am always hungry for new knowledge. While taking the quiz it asked you if you believed the ideals of Benito Mussolini. I said to myself, "That's the Fascist guy from Italy during WWII. Right?" Right, but I truely had no clue what fascism ment. Good thing I have the Internet, so I googled it. Here is what I got: "Fascism, now and always, believes in holiness and in heroism; that is to say, in actions influenced by no economic motive, direct or indirect." Quoted from this website. This site goes on to say it's the exact opposite of Socialism. I always thought it was a fancy word for dictatorship and in a sense it is. Thighmaster, it's not a thigh nor a master. Discuss. LOL.

In closing I wanted to talk about this Minimum Wage increase. There is no need for a federally mandated minimum wage. Most employers pay more than the Minimum Wage already. If you are one of those people that is flipping burgers for Minimum Wage walk your happy ass over to McDonald's and fill out an application.

Doh. I said I wouldn't discuss politics in my blog and there I have gone and done it again. Only that last big was politics but I just wanted to point out how ridiculous this latest political discussion is.

I'm a Winner

2005-03-09T14:22:00.000-05:00

My goodness people about 4 o'clock yesterday I got the worst migraine I have ever had in my entire life. Usually they are sinus related. I take some drugs, that's code for anything that will take care of a headache, and take a nap and I'm usually good to go after that. Never have I felt nauseous. I spent that last hour of work just sitting at my computer trying not to want to throw-up. It was 5 o'clock and I bolted out the door. I woke up with Dave throwing a eBay package in my lap. I tried not to think about what it was. I just went downstairs to my room and crawled into bed. Did I tell you that I have way cool leopard print T-shirt sheets. They are so cool. Two hours later I woke up with a residual throbbing but felt much better. Got dressed and rushed off to play in Manley's D&D game.

-----------

I have been surfing BlogExplosion again, lately. It used to take me forever to read all my peeps in my BlogRoll. And yes I read all of them for the most part. I have added a few more peeps, so be sure to check them out. I guess I started surfing again because I'm such a whore and want more people to read my blog. I tell you there is so much crap out there in blogs, but I'm sure someone thinks the same of me. Ya know if it wasn't for BE I wouldn't have found some of those blogs I can't live without.

I was checking out the stats BE had for my blog and it seems they have a new ratings engine that uses descriptive words. I had one person say it was good writing. Well duh. The other one brought a tear to my eye. Someone said inpirational. That was so cool.

Look at this:

BlogExplosion awarded me 100 Mystery Credits this morning. Go me.

Lemonade

2005-03-08T10:07:00.000-05:00

Yesterday on my drive to work I spotted several hawks gliding on the updraft. Just circling the rolling farm land next to the road. Wings outstretched catching every bit of the wind and effortless flying. Wingtips steering obviously looking for their next meal. Reminds me of my childhood going to Bald Eagle Mountain in PA, where you can observe predatory birds in flight. Made the day start off with a smile.

The Job proceeded to be a usually pain in the ass Monday. Dampened the mood a bit. Then it started to rain. I hate the rain. I hate the rain with a passion that could boil an ocean. Coming home an cooking made that better. I can masterfully doctor up some spaghetti sauce in a jar like it's nobody's business. I reduced some onions and browned some hamburger, even simmered the beef in some Amberbock. Smelled so good. Then I sautéed some white mushrooms that I sliced real chucky like. Poured in the jar of sauce. I love oregano, so I have a big ol' jar and use a ton of it in my sauce. A few other spices like paprika, garlic powder, and Emeril's Essence. Stirred in the mushrooms and let all the flavors mingle. Served it over some penne pasta. Awesome.

Then something hits me like a ton of bricks. My mind is like a steal trap and assumes the worst possible scenario. You know how "when life gives you lemons make lemonade," I was scrambling to find the sugar. I laid in my bed; resolved myself that I was going to cry myself to sleep. What I had was gone. Then at the right moment I get a phone call. All was right as rain. LOL.

Now a little poem for you.
-----------------------------------
Whispers

Eagle soars
Effortless in the wind
Mountain erupts jealously
Burning flesh from bone
Heart laid bare
Darkness fills the land
Freezes the plain
All is still
Wind whispers
Soothing emotion

Ten on Tuesday

2005-03-08T09:54:00.000-05:00

Ten Things That Turn You off about the Opposite Sex

1) That “I’m better than you” attitude
2) Thick makeup – makes you look like a clown
3) Talking down about the way you look – all women are beautiful
4) Argumentative – especially when I just met you
5) No sense of humor
6) No sense of fashion – I want a woman that dresses well
7) No sense of purpose
8) Doesn’t like dogs – I’m a huge dog person
9) Doesn’t like children
10) Inability to compromise

It Was Necessary

2005-03-07T10:18:00.000-05:00

Dee posted this quiz over at his blog, Hark, Imagination. I had to post this since I claim to be a comic fanboy. Now I despise Marvel as a comic book company. I prefer books from Top Cow and AspenMLT. Here it is anyway. And for my kitties there is a quiz for superheroine. Chop. Chop. Get to it.

And for my kitties there is a quiz for superheroine. Chop. Chop. Get to it.

I just had to know.

Hottie of the Week

2005-03-07T10:03:00.000-05:00

This week's hottie is the scrumptious Natalie Imbruglia. I was watching Johnny English this weekend and there she was. I remember back when I was a teenager and her grungie soulful voice on the radio. I so had the hots for her.

Be sure to check out her official site.

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Editor's Note: If there are any hotties out there that would like to be considered for Hottie of the Week please send an email to ukphitau97@gmail.com. Please include a photo and description of yourself. Providing me with this data gives me permission to use it on my blog.

A Little Geek and a Little Drink

2005-03-04T14:44:00.000-05:00

The Geek
Last night I arrived at Paddy Wagon's later than (as of late) been arriving. I went to Frankfort with a friend, Keith, for a D&D Minis tournament at Moonlite Comics. I have gone to Moonlite all the time when I feeling froggy to play MechWarrior. Keith really wants are local group to play other people around the state. Many in the state are ranked in the Top 25 Nationally. Yours truly is ranked 11th in the Nation. I brought my warband out and my first opponent had a chuckle because it was nearly the same as mine. He swapped in some orc fodder and a Drider Sorcerer for one of my Orc Champion beat sticks. Both of us played well and neither one out played the other. I think the overall deciding factor in the game was literal the first round of combat. My opponent's little Orc Warriors charged in and critically hit for twenty points of damage each. That was forty points of damage right off the bat to my Commander. Nearly made him run away. I lost that round but an awesome match. My second opponent did not play well against my "Wham, Bam, Thank you, Ma'am" warband. He brought all his figures up to mine and as usual on the next round I won initiative and proceeded to decimate this warband. The subsequent rounds were just clean up. My orcs ate well that time. Are host asked Keith and I if we wanted to play a third round. I was gonna have to play Keith and when Keith and I play it's a knock down drag out fight. Usually I end up on top. We diced off and Keith won. That will be just one of a very few times he has beaten me.

The Drink
I got to Paddy Wagon's around nine. Joe had already gone so I was left with Dave, Ben, and Ben's friends. His one friend Hungry doesn't say much but the other friend is a bit obnoxious. Anyways. Kristi asked me what I want. I told her to bring something I had left on the card. I got a Beamish, an Irish stout. Come in a can, thick as can be with the CO2 ball and everything. It was yummy. If your are into that kind of beer give it a try.

I tell the worse people that annoy me are those that have three beers and act drunk. That was Ben and his friend. I mean geez these guys want to do the Beer Club but Ben is pouring his beer in any container that will hold liquid. Finally they left around 9:30 when they usually do leaving Dave and I to close the bar down. Next, I had a Budweiser World Select. Anheuser-Busch decided to get world class brewmasters together and create a masterpiece beer. Hmm. Well it fucking tastes like Heineken. If you like Heineken then you will love Budweiser World Select.

Now Paddy Wagon's decided to add four more beers to the list. More beer to be drunk, I'm not complaining. One of those beers was Budweiser Select. Another something that Anheuser-Busch came out with last month. It lives up to its claim of being crisp and clean. I'd give it a try if you like Bud products.

It was my turn to drive so it was about 10 something and I ordered an Efes. I have no idea where it was from but it was imported by some place in IL. It was late and it was really hurting my head trying to figure this beer out. Anyway it wasn't too bad. Had that nice aftertaste. Paddy Wagon is mostly people my age or still in school. What blew my mind is a gentleman, Bill, that goes to my church was walking up near were I was sitting. I introduced myself. He didn't remember who I was. Had to tell him who my parents were. We proceeded to talk. Here is the kicker. He and and the gentleman that he was with make a circuit of the bars in town as a ministry. They do what the Spirit leads them to do. Funny thing was the come into Paddy's and have a Guinness but no other place do they drink a beer. We continued to talk and Bill asked if they could pray for Dave and I. I said, "Sure." Didn't bother me any but I had to think this must be weirding Dave out. My church really tries to reach out to the community in many different ways.

The night was winding down. When I got to Paddy's there was a guy and his girl at the table directly across from us. As the night progressed two more girls sat down. Then a third. Finally two more, so this guy had his girl and five other women with him. I said to myself, "Enough is enough. I gotta get me some of that kool-aid." I went over an introduced myself pointing out the obvious. I sat and talked with them for a bit until it was time to go. Dave was getting real drunk since it was my week to drive. It was off to blissful sleep.

For some reason I have been sleep so well at night. No matter when I go to bed, I wake up refreshed.

The Music Stick

2005-03-04T11:54:00.000-05:00

The Stick has been passed to me by Suanie:

1. What is the total amount of music files on your computer?
Gee if I actually had a computer at home I'd have to 6 GB worth of MP3s burned to CD-Rs back on my HD.

2. The CD you last bought?
Charlotte Church - Prelude. That was several and I mean several months ago. I usually just listen to what's on the radio. I spent my money on plastic crack and DVDs.

3. What was the last song you listened to before reading this message?
Geez I don't remember it was mostly the morning talk shows. I do remember B-Woods of Valentine in the Morning talking to Oprah about the Hip-Hop Hamsters. Too Funny.

4. Write down five songs that you often listen to or that mean a lot to you.

"Pimp Juice" by Nelly
“Hurt” by NIN
“Gimme Some Lovin” by Spencer Davis Group
“Jeremy” by Pearl Jam
“Voodoo People” by The Prodigy

5. Who are you going to pass this stick to (3 persons) and why?

Emperor Joe - He is all things music.
ananonymousgirl - She is my muse.
Irish Breen – I want to hear what she has to say.

Slut?

2005-03-03T16:39:00.000-05:00

Samatha over a Witchy Wonders has all the kitties finding out if they are sluts or not. The Master is not that slutty but is a PIMP truly slutty. Maybe the second quiz is really the issue. LOL.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Happy Almost-Slut
Whoa! You scored 15 Sluttiness Points and 11 Ethics Points! Interesting...
It's clear that you're at least a bit sex positive but you still have some hang-ups about the whole consensual nonmonogamy thing. I know, it can be difficult to step out into new things. No one says you have to but it may open new worlds to you if you try something that seems a little bit outside your usual cup-of-tea. Just keep treating yourself and others with respect and you can't go wrong.
The Ethical Slut Test

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But in the end I'm just really The Loverboy.

Socks

2005-03-02T10:59:00.000-05:00

Do Americans ever feel content? Does Capitalism drive us to want more and more?

It's been three years since I graduated college. I had to move back in with my parents because I couldn't afford to live on my own. Those three years I was supposed to be using the free room and board to pay off the credit card debt that I accumulated in college. Did I do the wise thing and get myself back on my feet? Of course not. I would spend my paycheck recklessly like I was still in college.

I moved out this past May and have been on my own since. My parents have helped me out quite a bit on my way. I look back on that moment of moving out and it was kinda depressing for me. Here I was just now finally moved out completely on my own and two of my fraternity brothers where become first time homeowners. I was like geez how pathetic is that. Later I realized that I have a home and can do whatever I please.

Everyone knows I a big geek and love to play Dungeons & Dragons as well as tabletop miniature war games like Mage Knight. I have weekly groups that play D&D and every Saturday I play my minis games.

I have been wanting to start a weekly bar tradition since moving out of my parent's house. If you been reading the blog you know that every Thursday my co-workers and I go to Paddy Wagon's downtown to kick back with a few cold ones. The Drunken Master has to stay in shape somehow.

Again if you have been reading the blog you will know that I just recently received a permanent position at EDS. It feels so good to have that financial security, better benefits and vacation. I haven't had a true vacation day in three years. I can now go with my family when we go home to PA. I'll be able to see my two nephews for the longest time didn't know who Uncle Andy's friend was. They didn't know who Uncle Mikey was. Tore me up.

I guess that the only think lacking in my life is a love life. Even now the Dry Season doesn't bother me. Someone is helping me with that as I type. I am content with who I am and where I am. Now you might think I am complacent like many Americans can be. To a degree I am, but I like to think that I'm don't having to worry like so many people do. In the fall I plan on going to Eastern to get my teacher certification and be a teacher. It was funny growing up that I said I never wanted to follow in my father's footsteps. Who knew it would be my mother's?

The past couple of days the weather has been crappy. Kinda been making me a little depressed but there is so much right now making me happy. I can not complain about anything like I ususally do. Truely I'm a happy person right now.

In closing I leave you with another quiz that once again says I'm a cute, lovable harmless teddy bear. Argh that frustrates me sometimes. Enjoy.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You are a sock.

You are a cozy, fuzzy, warm-hearted person. A lot of your friends describe you as a hopeless romantic. You fall for the opposite sex very easily. But be careful, because usually you don't know what you are getting into, and because you are very sensitive, you can get hurt... especially in early relationships. Also, don't exclude the cold-hearted from your "want-list", because they just might be looking for a kind person to warm up their heart.... or a sock to warm up their feet.

Most compatible with: Toilet Paper.

Click here -- What Random Object Represents Your Inner Self?

Ten on Tuesday

2005-03-01T13:35:00.000-05:00

Ten Songs that Bring Back Memories

1) "Mrs. Robinson" by Simon & Garfunkel used to fall asleep to this song in college
2) "Too Close" by Next gives me a woody every time
3) "Gimme Some Lovin" by Spencer Davis Group first oldie song I liked
4) "Back That Ass Up" by Juvenile girl in college loved this song and I always obliged her
5) "Baby Got Back" by Sir Mix-A-Lot waiting at a train station in NM for a bus to pick up my Philmont crew
6) "Gin and Juice" by The Gourds when the weather gets warm, drink on the back porch of the fraternity house
7) "Purple Haze" by Jimi Hendrix Greek Sing, actually singing extremely drunk and later pissing on the B&E Building
8) "Far Behind" by Candlebox jammin out with my best friend
9) "Jeremy" by Pearl Jam teen angst in general
10) "Hurt" by NIN cleans up any depression I have

Testing, Testing, Is This Thing On?

2005-02-28T11:30:00.000-05:00

Some quizzes from ananonymousgirl
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You're Exotic Dancer Barbie. You have some moves,
and will do anything for a few bucks. Take it
off girl, but keep it PG-13 please.
If You Were A Barbie, Which Messed Up Version Would You Be?
brought to you by Quizilla
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This is so true. I love to shake my ass. Occasionally I will make an apperance at a local strip club. One of the best bargins at strip club is the Dollar Dances. Let's ya sample the goods before purchasing an extended encouter with a lovely lady. Now the DeeJay will always try to dupe the crowd by asking who wants a free round. I mean geez it's a dollar people. Little do most people know the stripper gets the free dance. Now most guys just try to make it through this a painlessly as possible. Me? I relish it. I'll shake my ass, take my shirt off, get all up on the girl. Hell usually I have to be told by the DeeJay to keep my clothes on. The girls love it.

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Grover on Ecstasy
You're funny, you're loveable, you're entertaining,
you like to call yourself "Super
Grover!"--You're obviously on ecstasy.
But that's why we love you. Be careful, ok?
Which Sesame Street Muppet's Dark Secret Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
--------------------------------------------------------------

Most definatly why people love me. I'm on crack all the time.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Take the What
animal best portrays your sexual appetite?? Quiz --------------------------------------------------------------

Where's my teacher?

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Hottie of the Week

2005-02-28T09:35:00.000-05:00

This week's Hottie is the lovely Marsha. I had the pleasure of working with Marsha at Mail Boxes Etc one summer when I was home from college. After that summer I lost track of her until I was at Hooter's for a calendar signing. Marsha and I caught up on out lives and hugged. Hadn't talked to her since. Emperor Joe and I were looking at the Hometown Hotties from Maxim and there was Marsha again. A semi-finalist in Maxim's contest even.

Marsha always wanted to be a model. Hopefully she is following her dream.

Over The Hill

2005-02-25T14:59:00.000-05:00

Once I again I spend an evening at Paddy Wagon's. Imagine that I have been doing it for a month now. You don't know how long I have wanted to have a night every week that some people get together and drink some beer. Last night the fellowship truly came to fruitation. Joe, Ben, and Andre from work were there when Dave and I got there.

Kristi was there ready to take our order. Dave said, "Just bring something left on the list." I ordered a Half & Half. For those who don't know what this is; it's Guinness over Harp. This was quite yummy and knocked two beers off my list. It's very odd that the Master loves beer but he has never had Guiness or Harp before. Sometimes you get into those comfort zones. I really wanted to be one of those people that loves Guinness. It's refreshing to say that I am. hehe.

Everyone else got there earlier that Dave and I and were already eating. Kristi brought us menus. Joe said the Gaelic Cheese Steak was really good. Decided to give that a try. It was pretty good but I like the Pub Burger better.

Next off the list was Leinenkugel's Red. A microbrew from Wisconsin. Very much like Killian's. Has that rich bitter taste. I liked it and would like to try the other beers from this Brewery. It was most hilarious watching Ben trying to muscle down the Dixie Blacken Voodoo. Like I said it tastes like soap water. His face would contort into the most awful of facial expression. Sheer disgust.

Andre doesn't drink beer but loves Jager. We ordered up some Jager Bombs. Kristi came and brought an extra shot. I asked, "What's that for?" Her reply, "I'm gonna do one with you guys." Awesome. To Paddy Wagon's and down the hatch. Andre did two more Jager Bombs in a row. I knew this was bad. This kid did like three more straight Jager shots through out the rest of the night. Andre says there are all kinds of things you can mix with Jager. The Drunken Master is gonna have to seem some outside enlightenment on this.

After the Jager Bomb, the next beer to fill my belly was Woodchuck. Woodchuck is hard apple cider so technically not a beer. I really love Woodchuck especially if you want an adult beverage to sip. If you can find it on tap it's an experience.

Joe's pussy ass had to go home to his woman. I guess I can't blame since he is the one getting ass and not me. Beck's bit the dust next. A German beer with much regard as in import. It had that nice bitter foreign hoppy taste. Not something I would drink all the time.

Closing out the night with a Michelob Lite. What can we say another cheapass American beer brewed by Anheuser-Busch. Everyone esle left earlier in the night because well Dave and I are not wussies, but Andre stuck it out with us. That's were all that Jager and Red Bull went. He looked good until we were ready to leave and Bam! it hit him. Drunk as a skunk but wired like a weasel. Those Jager Bombs are evil. Dave and I took him back to the apartment where Dave tried to calm him down and let him sober up so he could drive back up to Lexington. I had two shots of Southern Comfort to take the edge off. I hate when it's my turn to drive. It was good having a sweet and soothing voice to put me to sleep. wink

Embarrassing Moment

2005-02-24T10:27:00.000-05:00

Last May, I went to this girl's house for an after Finals party. Now mind you I used to sleep with this girl. There was several people from my fraternity that are still in school and some of her sorority sisters. It was a nice small and casusal get together. Everyone was drinking and having a good time.

The group started playing I, never. Now what got to be funny is that most everyone there knows everyone pretty well and their exploits. Someone had said, "I've never had sex with a Phi Tau Alum." The girl I had sex with had to drink. Obviously. Now what was funny is a couple of girls where like, "Caitlin?" Everyone laughed because she and one of my little brothers, Whampler, had been having freaky-deaky fuck buddy sex. There are two things about Whampler that I will add to his epitaph when he passes. One his ability to drink some of the nastiest alcohol imaginable and two, his ability to get ass. The game continues and everyone is called out for something. I got shafted on one. "I've never had sex in the bathroom at the sorority house." Shit. I had to drink twice. My "X" and this girl.

We continue drinking and such. At this point I'm not really caring that the girl I used to screw('s) "boyfriend" is there. Weird fucker anyway. One of my brothers J-Rod rolls up after getting off work at the movie theater. He and I smoke a big phat J on the front porch. Yeah you heard that right the PIMP was smoking a boobie. Now I had been sipping on a nice screwdriver and I was buzzed from the alcohol by now. I took about three puffs and I was baked. There I sat on the front porch stoned out of my gorde. I was so gone that I felt retarded.

Then it hit me. My stomach said, "Time to exacuate all non-essential calories." I stood up and hurled all over the Herbie that was in the front yard. I ran to the side of the house and threw up some more. Here is the good part. I was heaving so hard I sharted my pants. Opps.

I was pretty much done so I went to the bathroom to clean up myself and my drawers. I got into the bathroom and locked the door. Did want anyone to see Lil' Mikey. hehe. It hit me again. I bowed down to that Porclein God and launched the blackest vomit I had ever seen. I just sat there heaving a couple of more times. Begging to pass out. I just laid there on the floor trying to hold on so I wouldn't spin out of control.

I woke up with someone knocking at the door. "Come on. I need to go to the bathroom." There I was curled up hugging the sink cabnet. I got up and walked out. Felt like I had been hit by a Mac truck. I sat down on the couch and recounted what I thought happened to me. Here is were it gets freaky. Real quick like. There was some random dude that showed up while I was passed out. It was like two in the morning and everyone wanted to go to bed and this dude would not get the hint and leave. The girl's "boyfriend" had a taser. That's right a taser. A fucking taser. To weak to really do anything. My mind was freaking out. This guy is going to taser my ass. Really he just wanted to taser the random dude. Whewoo.

The night was done and I curled up into a Papas-an chair to sleep off the rest of the Funk.

Pimpin Again

2005-02-24T08:37:00.000-05:00

It's time to pimp want of my favorite artists, Renee Atkinson. Renee was commissioned to render my D&D character, Adriana.

Click the image for a larger version.

Renee's portfolio is always eye-popping with detail and realism eventhough her style is very comic-esque. Be sure to visit her webpage and her DeviantArt page. This gem will is going to look fabulous next to the other two.

Sexual Exploration

2005-02-22T21:52:00.000-05:00

I haven't had the opportunity to explore the quizzes that ananonymousgirl posted on her blog. Now I have and I share them exclusively with you.

Your Sexual Personality
Sensitive Water Sign Lover
You're more soulful than the average lover and, like a Water Sign, your physical yearnings are inextricably tied to your emotions. You feel things deeply and may tend to idealize lovers, hoping with each intimate encounter that you've finally found your soul mate, the person who understands your intense, complex heart and fulfills your fantasies. Your vivid imagination and strong emotional attachments can intimidate some, but your profound and unguarded response to intimacy is worth the risk. Since you're so openhearted, you're also vulnerable to opportunists who seek only to use you. Steel yourself with the emotional armor of Cancer and surprise and delight with the bold sexual creativity of Scorpio. And like dreamy Pisces, express to your lover the depth of your pleasure. They will appreciate knowing the impact they've had on you!
-----
Very true.
-----

You Are A Juicy Kisser!

About Your Kissing Style:

Your lips are totally kissable baby, and you know how to use them.

You are the perfect - with the right combo of lips and tongue.

It's important to flaunt it, so kiss early and often on dates!

What Your Kissing Style Says About You:

You're 100% hot, and you know it. You're all about being sexy, all the time.

You have no trouble scoring dates or kisses ...

Just trouble getting rid of jealous people trying to show you up!

You attract attention from every hot guy and girl... even before you show off your kissing skills.

Your Personal Kissing Matches and Mismatches:

Go out with another Juicy Kisser and you'll be the power couple of the party. Sure, you'll have a ton of
hot kisses, but only after everyone there has checked you guys out. Hook it up with a
Romantic Kisser and you may have found your soulmate.
Romantic Kissers will be attracted to your appeal, and you'll appreciate their loyalty.

Keep away from Carnal Kissers! They'll just try to play you for sex, and
ruin your reputation in a heartbeat. And Freaky Kissers are way too wild and
rough for your style. You prefer pleasure to pain, thank you very much.

How Do *You* Kiss?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

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I like this one.
-----

Your Sex Position is Missionary

Classic. Satisfying. And a bit bland.

Here's one you've probably seen before.

Could be good. Could be a bore.

What's Your Sex Position?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

-----
WTF? I am so not this. I think it's the fact that I chose vanilla as my ice cream.
-----

You're a Speed Strip!

The thought of someone looking at your lil bit of hair in a speed strip isn't just seductive and a suggestion...

It's a huge turn on. You love thinking of someone licking your coochie hair!

What's Your Pubic Hair Style?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

-----
Well this quiz was really just for the ladies. The Master will try anything once.
-----

Your Scent is Blue

Like Blue, you change and adapt frequently.
One moment you're sexy and captivating...
The next? Fun, warm, and inviting.
You're hard to predict - but that's the essence of your charm.
Power scents: Jasmine, orange flower, and lotus flower.

What Scent Are You? Take This Quiz :-)

Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

-----
One additional quiz for my sweetie.

Feelings

2005-02-22T15:32:00.000-05:00

I want to express my many thanks to those people come to my zen beer garden for entertainment and what not. It makes me feel so good inside. Especially when you leave comments. Hint, Hint. I appreciate so much that you guys indulge my need to show off and be a celebrity.

I love being that drunken and most-of-the-time sober screwball. I love making people laugh and feel good about themselves. Even humor me when I decide to geek out on my blog. You guys provide so much excite during my hours I have to spend droning on at work. Makes the day so much better.

At time I can be that philosophical and melancholy drunk and you guys expand my mind on a daily basis. I do so love learning. Someone enjoyed my poetry very much and told me that I should share it here. I will do so from now on.

Thanks guys for making me feel special.

----------------------------------------------------
Woman
Form -
Elegant on the bed
Bra and panties beside her
Hair frames her delicate face
Bright eyes shines
Thin nape
Milky white breasts
Smooth areola
Distinct nipples
Strong hands rest
On her heaving stomach
Navel
Round and concave
Pierced
Centerpoint
Mons, neatly shaven
A flower blooms in the valley
Legs extended gently
Crossed
Exquisite feet
The foundation

Ten on Tuesday

2005-02-22T09:35:00.000-05:00

Ten Influential Women in History

1) Mother Teresa
2) Audrey Hepburn
3) Eleanor Roosevelt
4) Shirley Muldowney
5) Joan of Arc
6) Harriet Beecher Stowe
7) Mary Magdalene
8) Clara Barton
9) Jenna Jameson
10) My Mother – Would I be here today without her influence?

Whole Bunch of Nothing

2005-02-21T13:46:00.000-05:00

Here is a little Blogthing for ya, peeps. Very much me.

Your Brain is 46.67% Female, 53.33% Male

Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female
You are both sensitive and savvy
Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed
But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve

What Gender Is Your Brain?

-----------------------------------------
My weekend was much of the usual stuff that keeps me occupied. Flashback to Thurday I did get a call from one of my brother's friends, Arbanna. She asked me what I was doing and I said nothing. She then asked me if I wanted to get high. I haven't been high in 9 months since I knew real soon I would be getting "hired" on. It was real tempting, but thought I would pass just to be safe. Return to the present. Arbanna did call me Saturday night to see what was up. People were supposed to come over to my place to party. I cleaned up and headed over to show everyone how to actually get to my place. While waiting for everyone to supposedly get in gear, Arbanna and I ordered a pizza from a local joint. This think was called the Wagon Wheel and barely fit throught the door. It was good. As the lovely hostess Arbanna is she fixed me a mighty fine drink of vodka and Ale 8. Ale 8 is a local soft drink; ost affectionately call it Winchester swamp water. Either you love it or hate it. I like it. Has a nice ginger taste. No one wanted to go anywhere so Misti, Arbanna, and I watched a movie. Tara was patiently waiting For her boyfriend to finish watching the UK game, so she could get laid. hehe.

-----------------------------------------
blinkingbeauty posted this question on her blog: If you were an empty bottle of any beverage, what would that beverage be and where would you be found?

I would have to say that I would be a bottle of Maker's Mark and I would be found at any local pub. Why? Because everyone knows that I love Maker's like it is water and because at the local pub I would know that everyone enjoyed having me around.

Too Funny

2005-02-21T11:55:00.000-05:00

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

Emperor Joe was not impressed with Geek God's comment that he was preoccupied with poop. Here is the offending comment. I greatly enjoy Joe's Public Service Announcements about the facilities at work. Hell I write about them too.

Joe has masterfully posted a retort to the Geek God. Please comment on the Emperor's blog.

Hottie of the Week

2005-02-21T10:37:00.000-05:00

Last night I was watching Dude Where's My Car? and there is something magical about her.

I think it has to do a lot with sometime between Buffy and Big Daddy, she got a boob job. That doctor had some skilled hands. I perfer my women al-natural but won't know a woman for enhancing her assets. Check out this fan site for more of Kristi Swanson. Enjoy.

What You Have Been Waiting For

2005-02-18T13:16:00.000-05:00

Once again it's the day after a night at Paddy Wagon's. After much waiting Emperor Joe finally got to go out with Dave and I. Last week the roads were slick because we got a little snow, the Emperor's truck doesn't go very well in the snow. Wuss. Joe stopped by the house after work. Dave and I were finishing up scanning my DVDs into a database. I have over 200 DVDs and soon I will have over 50 new burned DVDs. Isn't technology great.

The three of us arrived at Paddy Wagon's at 7:30. I want you to note this time because Dave and I don't usually go out until nine. Kristi came with are Beer Cards in hand. =) I must say she was looking mighty hot that night. We needed some food. Paddy's had some great food and appetizers. I ordered my usual Pub Burger and Waffle fries with extra ketchup. First beer off the list for that night was Heineken. Many people love the sophisticated taste of Heineken. Me. I personally think its dry and has the weirdest aftertaste of hops. Finished that off before the food came and ordered a Dos Equis.

You all know my feelings for Corona. Mexican Horse Piss for those that just happened to stop by via Blog Explosion or BlogClicker, but I really like Dos Equis. It has that warm taste that all amber beers have. It is a pleasure to drink this beer. Soon after we finished eating and began to bullshit about work as we always do. I ordered a Busch. I hadn't realized until today all the beers that Anheuser-Busch produced. Many of them like Busch taste so much better than Budweiser, the supposed King of Beer. King of Beers my ass.

We are kicked back smoking and bullshitting, and a bit of an argument broke out about some crazy bitch whining about how many times she paid for the pool table. The dude she was arguing with was doing her best to not blow up in the bitch's face. Needless to say we had a laugh at her dumbass's expense.

Joe had to leave before it got too late. Once again frickin wuss. Dave and I were left to our own devices. Next off the list was Amstel Light. I have always liked this beer. Light and crisp. Did you know it's America's number one imported light beer. I guess when your only competition is Corona Light the only place to go is up. Kidding aside Amstel Light is a great beer.

Now we come to the poor college student's beer of choice, Natural Light. What can you say about a beer nicked name Nattie? This stuff is so horrible in a can and even worse in a keg, but out of a bottle it's not too bad. While enjoying this beer that crazy lady comes up to our table. Looks and Dave then looks at me and with a wink and a smile asks us if we wanted to shoot some pool. I said, "Um, No." Whew that was a close one. Dave and I just laughed.

At this point we were starting to get a tad bit tipsy, but we decided to have one more before we go. Each of us had a Pilsner Urquell, a Czech pale ale. Dave and I were definitely feeling the effects of alcohol and couldn't for the life of us pronounced this little guy, so we just called it Pissing Urinal. It was too funny because Dave and I both thought it was really good. I definitely recommend giving this one a whirl.

It's late at this point but not late enough to close down the bar like we usually do. Dave and I say, "Fuck it!" and have another one. Are final beer for the evening was Pacifico Clara, another Mexican beer. This one was a mighty fine pale ale. Another beer I would recommend giving a try. Kristi was a little disappointed that we didn't close down the bar like we usually do. I explained if we stayed we would be walking home. She promptly said, "I'm not scared of you two. I'd take you home." Like I said Kristi was looking fabulous last night and I'm going to have to remember that offer.

Seven beers off the list and a thirty dollar tab we walked out and nearly got ran over by two half naked college girls going to Hurricanes. Alas, I am too old to chase that young a pu-nannie around.

My Childhood Is Being Destroyed

2005-02-18T10:17:00.000-05:00

This morning I was listening to the local radio station, Z-Rock 103. Twitch, the DJ, was relaying a story from MSNBC how Warner Bros. is "updating" the Looney Tunes. Warner Bros. is giving the Tunes a "makeover" so that Bugs and company will appeal to this new generation. Now look at this image. These are not the Looney Tunes. This is some whacked out fluffy bunny bullshit.

The article says that these whack jobs are supposed to be the descendants of our beloved Bugs. Get this these "madeover" fucks are superheroes in the year 2772.

This kills me. David Janollari, president of the Kids WB, said, I think the legacy is intact. If anything, its an homage to the legacy instead of a destruction of the legacy. Please. Would I be bitching about this on a blog if it didn't matter to me. You are killing my childhood you corporate gimp.

The article says that the kids loved it. That's great the kids love the pretty colors and these are the same kids who love Barney. Barney the monstrosity that made every parent want to gouge out their eyes. Do corporations not realize that it's the parents that make the decisions on what their children watch and buy the toys kids want? I guess I pray that this is still the case.

OK. I'm done bitching.

It's Early

2005-02-18T08:27:00.000-05:00

I'm a little foggy from last night so the review will have to wait. Join me instead for some cheer for Firefox reaching 25 million downloads.

Yes Indeed-ie

2005-02-17T12:29:00.000-05:00

I struggled with what to write about today. I am working on a post that will inspire everyone to deviousness but like a good soup it must simmer. The Grand Master of Beer-Fu, Huber, sent me this incredible link to Valetine's Day's companion holiday. Steak and BJ Day. It's fairly obvious what this holiday is about but click the link for a complete description. I felt obligated to share this with you, my readers. Ladies mark March 14th in your calendars and men will do their damnest to make V-Day memorable.

Feel The Burn

2005-02-16T08:26:00.000-05:00

It's quite apparent that one of my reader who shall remain anonymous (hint, hint, wink, wink) was none too happy with my choices for Ten on Tuesday. In my defense it was hastily put together. Most of these people are heroes of sorts but still I dig my own hole with this excuse. It seems. Regardless, I have been challenged to come up with ten influence women. Next week look for my ten most influential women. Miss Yano I blame you for this burning sensation I am experiencing.

Ten on Tuesday

2005-02-15T15:59:00.000-05:00

Ten Influential People in History

1) Ronald Reagan
2) Ron Jeremy
3) Stephen Hawkins
4) Albert Einstein
5) Adam Smith
6) Socrates
7) Sean Connery
8) Dale Earnhardt
9) The Rock
10) JFK

Who Would Have Thought

2005-02-14T11:47:00.000-05:00

Your Passion is Orange

Your sex life is driven by your wild fantasies.
For you, sex is a dramatic performance where you are the star.
And you love putting on a wild act for your lover, trying to top last night's show.
Whether you enjoy the actual sex is irrelevant... it's all about putting on a good act!

What Color Is Your Passion?

----
I read this and said to myself, "But, I want to enjoy sex. This is kinda shallow." Then I realized the best sex I have had is when I knew that my partner was having the time of her life. It is like this in all aspects of my life. If the people around me aren't having fun, I'm not having fun. I'm an actor and I want my audience to laugh and be happy.

Every person I have dated but one has been younger than me. I have been the teacher in these relationships. I enjoy teaching people. I initiated so many amazing things with my "X" but there was no exchange of passion. It's a revelation that I need to sit back and become the diligent student. It's hard to ask someone to please teach me about passion and expertise. I want to love and be loved in return.

As an added funny my brother asked me, "Is it weird that a girl talks about getting herself off?" I said, "Nope. It's refreshing." I explained to him, "I can never trust a woman that doesn't masturbate." Many women don't masturbate because they are unfamiliar or feel "icky" about their bodies. A woman that masturbates knows about her body and how to express herself. Have you ever run into a woman who just didn't know what she wanted. Well this was my "X" and she made figuring out how to take care or her needs very frustrating. I have no inhibitions about caring for the every need of my woman but figuring them out I cannot do.

I hope everyone had an exquisite V-Day. I had plans to take a girl that I have the hots for out to Arlington. Arlington is part of EKU's alumni association which includes a swimming pool, golf course, and more importantly an exquisite mansion / restaurant. My parents are members so I pulled in a marker with the 'rents to get some reservations. I called this girl and left a message for her to give me a time when she would like to go out. I called her two other times that evening. Never returned my calls. Am I upset? Nope. I saved myself about $75 but once again I just don't understand women. I do have to appreciate this wonderful post from blinkingbeauty.

In closing this is so me. I am a transparent person. What you see is what you get.

Your Seduction Style: The Natural

You don't really try to seduce people... it just seems to happen.
Fun loving and free spirited, you bring out the inner child in people.
You are spontaneous, sincere, and unpretentious - a hard combo to find!
People drop their guard around you, and find themselves falling fast.

What Is Your Seduction Style?

Hottie of the Week

2005-02-14T08:24:00.000-05:00

This week's hottie is the scruptious Brittany Daniel. She captivated audiences as the sweet and innocent Brandy in Joe Dirt, opposite David Spade.

I must say it's a pleasure watching Joe Dirt and listening to Brittany Daniel's sweet Southern twang. Enjoy.

hehe ...Testing

2005-02-11T14:15:00.000-05:00

Score!!

Beer

?? Which Alcoholic Drink Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

I can see this but that doesn't mean I don't want to explore new possiblities. ananonymousgirl?

pure

What's YOUR sexual fetish?
brought to you by Quizilla

I Wonder Sometimes

2005-02-11T12:02:00.000-05:00

Mimi a current news story about a baby being thrown out of the window of a car. You can read the full story here.

WTF. I guess every generation had its atrocities. I'm not so sure I have much else to say but God be with that child and his/her parents.

Be This Friend

2005-02-11T10:30:00.000-05:00

Is this not so true. I have to say one of the best decisions in my life was joining my fraternity, Phi Kappa Tau. Several of the people I have met during my years in college will be life long friends that will stand beside me. Some of you are probally saying, "You were just buying your friends." This is so stupid. Hell, most of us couldn't pay our dues. There is something to say about the bond, "A brother from another mother."

Now on for the good stuff. Thursday night at Paddy Wagon's.
The regular treatment is starting to set it. Kristi said hi to us and we sat down. She presented us with our beer cards without even asking our names. I promptly ordered a Sam Adams. I drank a lot of Sam Adams Cherry Wheat in college, but never the original. My notion of the original is that it is the only real beer brewed in the United States. Basically not watered down swill. I must say for an amber colored beer it was smooth and left a nice nutty after taste. I have had Sam Adams Light and if you aren't into darker beers it's quite a freshing pale ale.

Next, Dave and I asked Kristi what she recommended. She said she liked Birra Moretti, and Italian beer. I said to Dave, "I thought all them made in Italy was wine and pasta." Moretti is a very pale lager. I honestly couldn't tell you how well it tasted since it was masked by the richness of Sam Adams.

Next, I had a Michelob. One thing about the Beer Card is that I'm forced to drink some other American beers. This guy was pretty good. If you are into most American Lagers that Michelob won't treat you wrong.

In closing I decided to pay homage to our neighbors to the North. I have the opinion that the only good thing that comes from Canada is beer. To finish off the night I had a Molson. From what I could tell it was a light amber beer that was crisp and clean. I do enjoy Canadian beer. I have so been wanting to try Molson Triple X which is supposed to have the highest alchohol content of any beer and cannot be imported into the US.

Somehow the Molson gave me the hiccups real bad and I sounded like a real drunk last night right before we were gonna leave. I couldn't say two words without hiccupping. Emperor Joe was supposed to make an appearance last night but pussed out because the roads were bad. Everyone needs to go to his blog and give him HELL.

I am this but I think I'm more of a Philosophical Drunk.

What Kind of Drunk Are You?
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

Heart of the Hero

2005-02-10T13:14:00.000-05:00

I got this from the Geek God.
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My Inner Hero - Rogue!

It's a good thing I use my powers for good and not evil, because quite frankly, I could get away with murder. I'm clever, tricky, and charming. I know how to make you laugh with one hand and pick your pocket with the other. Not that I'd ever DO that, of course...

How about you? Click here to find your own inner hero
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I don't know if I necessarily agree with this, but I can be a shiesty bastard. Usually when I play D&D I like to be a tank, so that I can go in there an beat the ever living shit out of things. As of late I am trying to broaden my horizons and in each group that I am in I'm playing something different.

First, we have Viktor Hammerskald, a Dwarf Paladin whose holy mount is a Silver Dragon. Viktor started out as a Fighter because I love to play tanks. Viktor's calling into holy smiting was me trying to broaden my role-playing game experience. I'm a holy man but I get to kill shit. Yeah.

Then we have Adriana Ambrosio, an Elven Bard in the Geek God's. Really she is just a huge tramp. Bards are the jacks-of-all-trades. Bards mostly support the rest of the adventuring party's needs. Adriana really fills that out nicely. hehe. Playing Adriana in the Geek God's game is mostly definitely at the other end of the spectrum of RPing than Viktor. I so love RPing this slut. *looks around* Did I say that out loud?

Finally we have Victoria Shinkensan, a Human Cleric. What is very exciting about this character is that she is being played in Wizards of the Coast's new campaign setting Eberron. One of Eberron's deities is called the Silver Flame. Worshippers of the Silver Flame are in essence worshipping the spirit of a long dead chick. The author of the setting explains that the leaders of the church could quite possible become corrupt. I'm thinking that might be an interesting plot twist in this group's dynamics.

Many people don't understand role-playing games. I had a friend once describe it as part acting, part storytelling, and that is so true. It just always a someone to be someone or something else for a brief moment in time.

Bust A Cap In Yo Ass

2005-02-09T14:02:00.000-05:00

Brought to us by the lovely blinkingbeauty

Thug Bear

Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Another Nipple

2005-02-09T10:32:00.000-05:00

Ali of I write, therefore I blog brought this to my attention. Ah Playboy bunnies. See that little nip poking out at a Super Bowl party.

Here is the rest of the story.

Didn't Know That

2005-02-09T10:20:00.000-05:00

I definitely like shiny objects.

Which Website are You?

Who's Your Daddy?

2005-02-08T14:11:00.000-05:00

I just wanted to let all my blog peeps know that I just got hired on. That's right I will soon no longer be working for Kelly Services. As much as I'm going to miss bugging the hell out of Katie and Cheryl, I will enjoy having actual benefits.

Ten on Tuesday

2005-02-08T10:44:00.000-05:00

Ten Reasons Why Valentines Day is a Stupid Holiday

1) Buying flowers that will just die
2) Paying way too much for those damn flowers
3) Anxiety attacks for not creating the perfect V-Day
4) Not meeting the expectations of a women
5) Dinner reservations at places like Applebee’s
6) Worthless candy for months
7) Anxiety of trying not to be alone on V-Day
8) Did I say stupid flowers yet
9) Makes single people feel miserable
10) My Father gets off easy (Mother’s B-Day, Anniversary, and V-Day all on the same day)

Not This Time

2005-02-07T09:32:00.000-05:00

Super Bowl Sunday was my fraternity big brother, Goose's, 28th birthday. We went Saturday to celebrate. Goose wanted to go to McCarthy's, an Irish bar in Lexington, KY. Once again they have Guinness and Harp on tap. I had to arrive a little late because I had a previous appointment to play D&D Minis. Goose was already looking a little trashed. Most of the night was great fellowship with my fraternity brothers. It was Midnight and Jason wanted to go home. We look everyone where for the Goose cannot find him. McCarthy's isn't really a big bar, it's cozy like that. We wasted 30 minutes with unfruitful attempts to find him, so we can go home. I find him in the new bar of McCarthy's that isn't attached to the rest of the main bar. There he sat with two other fraternity brothers, also his boys from his home town, Tick and Green.

I tell him, "Jason wants to go. Are you coming?" "Nah, I'm trying to hit on this beautiful woman here." Now what you must understand is that the Goose is one ugly muthafucker. I turned to the girl who was obviously going to sleep with Green and asked, "Are you gonna suck the Goose's dick?" She said, "Only if he pays me." "Goose you're shit out of luck man. Let's go home." Still he is belligerent and wants to stay. I turned to Tick and Green and said, "You guys got him?" "Yeah," and I said my good-byes.

I go back to Jason's to drink some more beer and throw some darts. It's around one in the morning and we figured it would be a matter of time before the Goose would be showing up at home. He was shit faced when I left him. About two we call Tick and asked him, "Where's the Goose?" He says, "I don't know we lost him." "How in the hell do you lose the Goose?" "He got up to go to the bathroom and never game back." Figuring they were shitting with us, Jason and I took it at face value. When Tick and Green rolled through the front door without the Goose, we got worried. The whole time Goose wasn't answering his cell phone.

Almost four in the morning Jason gets a call on his cell phone, it's from the Goose. Thank god. Jason gets all serious on the phone. Jason recounts that Goose is in an ambulance headed to UK Hospital. We argue who is gonna go bail him out. I said, "I'll go. Jason, come with me?" Inside the Emergency Room, a nurse takes us back. There the Goose was in a hospital gown with his junk all hangin out. "How ya feel?" "I'm fine. I just want my boxers." The Goose was alright. After some formalities to get him released, Jason asks the nurse, "Where did they find him?" "Corner of Buck Lane and Michelle Park" That corner is two houses down from where Goose and Jason live.

Hottie of the Week

2005-02-07T08:27:00.000-05:00

This week's hottie, Vida Guerra, was brought to my attention by Jay over at DaTaste.com. Vida exploded onto the scene from the pages of FHM magazine. Vida's body is so banging and bootilicous.

Don't you agree? Vida's popularity keeps growing. She has such a following, even in prisons. One inmate has a Vida tattoo inked on his thigh. Be sure to check out more of Vida at her official website.

In Parting

2005-02-04T16:37:00.000-05:00

The weekend is almost here. Thank all that is holy. Today has been rough. I came in about 15 minutes late because I just didn't want to get up this morning. hehe. As soon as I got in this morning they needed me to take Help Desk calls. They were 20+ in queue. Seems someone ran a script on the network that locked everyone's Active Directory accounts. Monkeys work at Nextel, I swear. Anywho. I got an extra hour of OT for the week and free lunch. Guess where it came from? Wait for it. Arby's. I promptly asked for a cherry turnover and my request was granted. Now I will share with you how tempting that delectable dessert can be.

HaloScan is Here

2005-02-04T14:46:00.000-05:00

This is for all those people that were bitching on my blog that BlogSpot commenting sucks. I agree it does blow donkey dick. There bitches I got HaloScan now, so comment to your heart's content. I do miss my old comments though. R.I.P. little guys you will be missed but not forgotten.

How Drunk Am I?

2005-02-04T08:46:00.000-05:00

A reader has asked me to post some pictures of me drunk. Enjoy.

---------------------------------
Paddy Wagon's was great last night. Kristi was a sweetheart and made sure we had the best service ever. I'm really digging this regular treatment. Well four more beers off of the Beer Card: Foster's, Old Peculiar, Michalob Ultra, and PBR. Foster's. What can you say when they call it the Oil Can. Old Peculiar. I have to say was a really good beer. Brewed in England and very smooth, a lot like Amberboch. Ultra. I now know why it's low carb, it tastes like water. Pabst Blue Ribbon. Suprisingly this cheap ass beer is pretty good, but we got the royal treatment. It was in a bottle.

As a Friday feature I will recount my thoughts on the beers I have knocked off the Beer Card from the night before.

Mmm ...Beer

2005-02-03T17:00:00.000-05:00

Paddy Wagon's tonight, yeah.

Before I Go Home

2005-02-02T17:13:00.000-05:00

I'm mildly a political person and I like to keep my blog free of politics. If I find something I want to bitch about I will bitch about it. Enjoy this little quiz I found to learn a little bit more about yourself.

World's Smallest Political Quiz

I am that RED DOT.

Your PERSONAL issues Score is 60%.
Your ECONOMIC issues Score is 60%.

Take the quiz and let's comment.

The Down Low

2005-02-02T09:14:00.000-05:00

blinkingbeauty
1. What's your biggest fantasy?
:: Sharing a sunrise with a beautiful woman
2. If you got to talk on a major TV station that most of the world was watching for 1 minute what would you say?
:: I’m a handsome young man and I need a woman.
3. Name one crazy thing you want to do still in life.
:: Skydiving and bungee jumping.

Winning Loser
1. Why are you doing this?
:: I found it on anathemasremedy’s DeviantArt page. Filled it out. Then I had to copy it into my blog like it says. Duh.
2. How much do you love cherry pastries?
:: A prefer apple but that one in particular was a luscious little tart.
3. Can I have a cookie?
:: Sure.

Robin
1. How many times a week do you spank your monkey?
:: 2-5 times.
2. How many times a week would you spank my monkey?
:: Every fucking day.
3. Would you let your monkey play with my monkey?
:: I’ll have to ask him.

Samantha
1. What's the strangest thing you've ever done, sexually speaking, of course?
:: I would be more than happy to share my sexual experiences with you but I don’t think any of them are strange.
2. What's the tamest thing you'll *never* do, sexually speaking?
:: I really gotta say anal sex.
3. When spanking the ol' monkey, do you use visual stimulation? Or is it all in your head?
:: Depends on the mood I’m in. Most of the time, no.

moviegrrl
1. Who was your first love?
:: I would have to say this Asian girl in the 2nd grade. I had the biggest crush on her. She moved away sometime during the school year. I don’t remember when exactly. I still wonder what happened to her.
2. What's your favorite Meal?
:: My mom's spaghetti.
3. What's your favorite building?
:: I would have to say the William T. Young Library on the University of Kentucky’s campus. The architecture made it so inviting. I actually wanted to go study there.

Anonymous
1. Why did you choose your profile photo?
:: It's one of my favorite pictures of me showing young grasshoppers the art of Beer-Fu.
2. Three blogs you can't live without?
:: Out of Character, MoreThanWords, and yanowhatimean?
3. Name of your second pet as a child?
:: I think it was Bert, my guinea pig.

Mimi
1. Ever cheated on a girlfriend?
:: Yeah. I had gotten into a fight with my “X” and was over at the fraternity house drinking. I always had a crush on one of the fraternity regulars (girls that hang out with the fraternity) and she was there. We were flirting and both pretty drunk. We went out onto the back porch were everyone goes to make out. We swap some spit and I’m groping her. She says, “We need to stop you have a girlfriend.” That was it that night. I don’t feel guilty about it since my “X” pretty much ripped my heart out.
2. What's your worst sexual experience?
:: I can’t say that I have had a worst sexual experience. I will have to say that sex with the “X” was not very exciting even though we experimented a lot.
3. Ever sharted your pants?
:: Yes. I was driving to church for a missions trip. I was lifting my leg to let one rip and my draws become wet. I ran to the bathroom cleaned up and pitched them in the trashcan. I had to conserve boxers on that trip since I was a pair short.

Brian Blaz.
1. Where do you see yourself in 20 years?
:: Married with kids and a solid career.
2. If you could get drunk with three people from history, who would they be?
:: Socrates, it would be so cool to get him drunk and talk some philosophical shit with him. Sir Winston Churchill, since he was drunk all the time I know he is a cool muthafucker. Buddha, just to ask him what he was thinking at that very moment.
3. Why did you start your blog?
:: To be like the cool kids on the Internet.

annette
1. Does God exist?
:: Yup.
2. What is the meaning of life?
:: 42.
3. What is currently in your fridge?
:: Beer, cheese, lunchmeat, Red Bull, pizza, OJ, soda, and condiments.

ananonymousgirl
1. Have you ever had a threesome?
:: Nope.
2. Would you consider a threesome (refer to here kitty, kitty, kitty)?
:: Yes,
3. Do you like it when I call you Master?
:: Abso-fucking-lutely.

girlonaglide
1. Who would you rather be locked in the slammer with and why: Martha Stewart or Lorena Bobbitt?
:: Martha Stewart. I really want to keep Lil' Mikey in one piece.
2. If you were a WWF wrassler, what would your name be?
:: Pete the Meat.
3. Was OJ guilty?
:: If the glove don't fit, you must acquit.

Michael
1. What is the air speed of an African Swallow?
:: Not really sure.
2. What is the ultimate answer to life, the universe and everything?
:: 42.
3. Why only three questions?
:: Because that's what the silly little thing called for.

Cross
1. Why?
:: Because.
2. Ya go poop yet?
:: Yup.
3. Why did I need to know?
:: I felt like sharing.

Ten on Tuesday

2005-02-01T14:12:00.000-05:00

Ten Words/Phrases You Love to Use

1) Kiss my Lilly white ass
2) Okie Dokie
3) What’s a Nubian
4) Ram Reddy Jakka – inside joke at work
5) Snap
6) That’s retarded
7) Peace
8) Cool Beans
9) Fucktard
10) Rock out with your cock out, Hang out with your wang out, Party like a rock star

Birthday Bash

2005-02-01T09:42:00.000-05:00

Keg - $75.00
Tap Rental - $40.00
Keg Deposit - $15.00
Sheet of Plywood - $12.50
Cups - $2.50
Sharpie Markers - $5.00
Ping Pong Balls - $1.50
Ice - $11.50
Trash Can - $8.00

Floated Keg - Priceless

--------------------------------------------
The Birthday Bash last Saturday was a complete success. It has taken until today to fully relish all of the events to properly chronicle the experience.

Beer Pong was a success. The Dennis and Jason Dream Team was undefeated once again.

The best moment was when my roommate woke up and aked me if someone puked in his bed. I said, "Buddy, sorry to disappoint you but you were alone when I put you to bed. You puked in you own bed."

I had peanuts all over the floor.

And the funniest thing was walking out the front door in the morning with the trash and seeing this.

Baby Mooley is Born

2005-01-31T10:44:00.000-05:00

There has been much anticipation over at the Tier 1 Help Desk. The great Mooley's baby was getting read to be born. Mooley and the other Tier 1 agents infect me with those damn internet quizzes that I post. After a bit of delay John Brandon was born January 26, 2004 at 5:02 PM. He weighed 8 lbs. 9 oz and is 20 inches long. I must say I always get a chuckle that we measure the length of a baby. Anyway. Mooley has sent up a blog to chronicle the early childhood of young John Brandon. Go check it out.

Hottie of the Week

2005-01-31T08:09:00.000-05:00

Here we have the lovely Strawberry-Shortcake from Out of Character. I had requested a picture of herself to use for Hottie of the Week. This is what she sent me.

She was a redneck bride for Halloween on year. I told you sweetie I was going to use the picture. Enjoy.

Give It To Me, Baby

2005-01-28T16:25:00.000-05:00

(A) First, recommend to me:
1. a movie:
2. a book:
3. a musical artist, song, or album:

(B) I want everyone who reads this to ask me three questions, no more, no less. Ask me anything you want.

(C) Then I want you to go to your blog, copy and paste this allowing your friends to ask you anything they want!
------------------------------------------------
I will answer the questions on Wednesday.

Let Me Hear Your Battle Cry

2005-01-28T10:32:00.000-05:00

The tradition has started. Those of us who work at EDS in Winchester, KY are gathering at the Paddy Wagon Irish Pub to complete our Beer Cards. Anyone who would like to join us on Thursday nights is more than welcome too. The Emperor should be with us next week since he is moving up to the Richmond area from BFE.

I was talking to my friend blinkingbeauty about how lately I have been a magnet for shitty food service. There was the server arguing with me about a tab. Last sunday my parents took me out to dinner for my birthday and we all didn't get our food at the same time and my brother's was cold. My roommate,Dave, and I had to wait about 5+ minutes for someone at the Mexican retaruant to get our drink orders. We ate all of our chips before someone came. Then last night at Paddy Wagon our server wasn't as attentive to our needs as she should have been.

It was nice that Kristi, our server, remembered that we had been there. Paddy Wagon seemed to have had a slighty larger crown than last week. Our poor server was run ragged and in particular our progression of alcohol suffered. Dave and I had to wait after we finished our beer to order another one. Jerry showed up a little later and once he ordered his beer had to wait 5+ minutes to get it. Kristi realized that she never stopped back by and said, "I just bought that one." See fucker at Shamrock's that how you make up for being a dumbass. Hell we even had to wait to pay for our tabs. Kristi stopped to talk to us and introduced herself. That's how I know her name now. Cute girl too. I told her I don't think it's her fault and explained the odd karma I have been having. Kristi we had a great night.

I took another quiz. I think this one is fitting for the next time I'm drinking.

what's your battle cry? | mewing.net | merchandise!

Maybe This Will Explain It

2005-01-27T10:26:00.000-05:00

Wackiness: 72/100
Rationality: 44/100
Constructiveness: 56/100
Leadership: 44/100

You are a WECF--Wacky Emotional Constructive Follower.
This makes you a Candle burning at both ends.

You work until you drop, and you play until you can stand to work again. You have so much enthusiasm that you can find it hard to control on your own, and you appreciate the guidance that channels your energy and lets you be your best.

In a relationship, you require lots of attention and support. You often over-contribute and end up feeling depleted and cheated. You may benefit from more time alone than you grant yourself.

Your driving force is the emotional support of others--especially affection. You can run on empty for miles if you have positive energy behind you. Without it--as it occasionally must run dry--you are depressive, listless, and difficult to motivate.

You need a lot of affection. Get it any way you can, but never at the cost of your self-respect or well-being.

Take the Quiz

American Pie Moment

2005-01-26T14:03:00.000-05:00

I shall strive to delve deeper into my moments of sexual frustration.

Since my roommate and I carpool to work we usually take lunch at the same time to facility each other’s lazy asses not having to walk anywhere. Now as of late EDS has been employing some rather attractive women. One of these said hotties was walking down the walkway between cubes. I proceeded to hump the cubical wall as Mini-me did in Austin Powers. It was so feverish that I knocked over Deacon Peck's pop cap tower. I apologized and walked out the door.

Dave out of the blue said Arby's for lunch. I was like sure thing I like Arby's. Usually we go to the same places every week. Lunch was unspectacular but I was still hungry, so I went up to the counter and purchased a Cherry Turnover. I sat down and took a little bite just to make sure it wasn't too hot. Then another. I looked at my roommate, "Ah, warm and flaky." "Look at this thing. It looks like a pussy." There my cherry turnover became and object of lust. I had eaten about half of it and the top of the triangle was still there. Looked like an engorged clit. The flaky crust looked like the folds of the labia. It even had a warm pink gooey center.

I ate more. Some of the filling was oozing out. I took my finger and just dabbed that up. Yummy. Every moment was ecstasy. A pastry never tasted so good.

Would a woman please rescue me?

Forecast: Uncertain

2005-01-25T14:21:00.000-05:00

The Winning-Loser finds it necessary to continue to encourage me on my quest to find someone to love. The reason he finds this hilarious is because he DM's my Wednesday D&D group at the local shop, the Fun*Asylum. More often than not our side tracted conversations revolve around sex and relationships. Could stem from the fact that I play an extremely sexual elven bard (female), and many a time the game just dissolves into mindless perverted dribble. Fun none-the-less.

Moving on. I have no shame and recounted details of my sex life. I explained that when Mike gets some lovin' it's like a monsoon. When it rains it pours. Just like in 'Forrest Gump' when Tom Hanks remarks about the rain coming down in big drops, small drops, and even from up underneath. Much is my sex life. Just in the movie that rain abruptly ends, and I go through a dry spell. Sometimes a lengthy dry spell.

Those that were in that conversation that night have liken to calling me Dry Spell. Winning-Loser just likes to chide me. Me? I'm enjoying bachelorhood. Soon the rainy season will come again, and I will whaller in it like a pig in slop.

Ten on Tuesday

2005-01-25T10:35:00.000-05:00

Ten Things that You Love About Winter

1) Seeing your breath in the air
2) Snowball Fights
3) Movie nights by a crackling fire
4) Cuddling by that fire
5) Sticking my cold nose on people
6) Watching snow flakes dance in the wind
7) Kicking icicles off of cars
8) Blankets to keep me warm at night – I called it the Blanket Burrito
9) Full beam headlights - hehe
10) Drinking Fuzzy Navels when the campus was snowed in – memories

Augh More Testing

2005-01-24T12:40:00.000-05:00

Kip Dynamite
(Please rate my quiz)

Which Napoleon Dynamite character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Hottie of the Week

2005-01-24T08:34:00.000-05:00

This week's Hottie is the lovely Alessandra Ambrosio. Hailing the from that sunny South American nation of Brazil. Alessandra currently is a Victoria's Secret Angel and has been busy with the "Angels Across America" campaign. It's she the cutiest thing ever?

Be sure to check out this fan site for more luscious pictures of Alessandra.

Aftermath

2005-01-21T09:36:00.000-05:00

I want to thank everyone for the birthday wishes. I had an incredible time. My mom called me on the way home from work and told me she had pizza and ice cream cake. My dad is out of town on business that's why that was kinda lame. We are going out Sunday for lunch to celebrate. I took my brother back to the dorms and picked up my roommate, Dave, and headed out to Paddy Wagon's.

Paddy Wagon's is a little Irish bar about as Irish as something in KY can get. I guess it's Irish because they serve Guiness and Harp. When I was growing up the place was this hole-in-the-wall Mexican joint. Supposedly it was pretty good but it looked so dirty. Anyway. Paddy Wagon has this thing called the "Beer Card". On it are all the beers that they serve. If you drink all of them you get your name on the bar. Now that is the coolest.

We met a buddy and co-worker there, and I started off with a Red Stripe. Our server was too sweet she made us Beer Cards, even marked on mine the beers I had from the last time I was there and never got a card made. She even offered me a shot for my birthday. A Serria Nevada and a Coors Light later we are shooting the shit about work, lusting after the hotties at work, and wondering when they are gonna hire our asses full-time.

Our server told us last call was in a few minutes. I sat there contemplating if I wanted another beer. I said, "Shit, it's my birthday." Our server said, "You still want your shot." "Yeah." "What do you want, tequila?" "Oh god no. I only drink tequila if it's in a margarita. Make it Jager."

Then I said, "Might as well get this one over with. Give me a PBR." "We are out of Pabst. Here if you want the nastiest stuff we got. It's the Dixie Voodoo." "OK"

I got my Jager and realized I should have asked for some Red Bull. Jager Bombs, baby. I got my Red Bull and my Dixie Voodoo. Pounded my Jager Bomb down. Augh, that beer tasted like soap. Our server didn't even charge me for the last beer or the Red Bull. I tried to make her fix it, but she wouldn't. Paddy Wagon's is going to become a Thursday tradition. Finished that swill off and we headed out.

Just as we were arriving home our next door neighbors, two hot sorority girls, were getting out of their car. We had some pleasantries at the door as Dave stalled opening the door. Good man. For a brief second we needed to get the nerve up, I grabbed the half case of Rolling Rock and headed next door. Knocked. "Who is it?" "The Neighbors." The sober one answers the door, "We are partied out." Damn. Cock blocked by the DD.

Ah. It was a good night people. But the true festivities are next weekend, when I have my January Birthdays Bash. If you are gonna be in the area on the twenty-ninth be sure to stop by.

Pimpin

2005-01-21T08:13:00.000-05:00

I want to pimp a friend of mine's artwork. I'll let this bit of lineart speak for his immense talent.

Please visit his website. There he has more sample sketches and a script for his first issue. Mock regularly posts sketches in the Aspencomics.com forum. Check him out and give him your support.

Happy Birthday to Me

2005-01-20T08:35:00.000-05:00

That's right bitches. It's my birthday and you better send me all kinds of birthday cheer. Also, send the Emperor some birthday cheer too. We have the same birthday.

I got home from work last night and there was a flyer in the door for special offers from the cable company. I looked at my roommate and just laughed. I guess they didn't know they were still giving us cable. For Free.

After getting home from playing D&D, I plopped down on the couch to watch some TV. Snow. Damn. They found us. I guess this is my birthday present from the cable company.

Pay up sucker.

Must Have

2005-01-19T12:59:00.000-05:00

Here is one more nail in the coffin to make me go out and buy an Xbox. I was at, my buddy, Jason's place last Sunday, watching the Eagles/Vikings game. On that big 51" Widescreen TV, a commercial for LucasArt's Mercenaries came on. Jaws dropped. What can you say when it has tag lines like this:

You are a mercenary.
In a playground of destruction.
Hijack any vehicle.
Use any weapon.
Blow up anything.
Blow it up again.
Keep blowing stuff up.
Blow the living crap out of it.
Blow the living crap out of it some more.

Here is a screen capture from the Xbox.

Jason simply said, "I have a boner."

Conspiracies in the Workplace

2005-01-19T08:59:00.000-05:00

No this isn't another rant about the restrooms.

The Emperor has taken it upon himself to let everyone know that I seem to look like Bobby Hill. Now the dominatrix, I'm not so sure about that one. Bobby, I can handle. The running joke is, "Asking me, 'How the propane sales are going?'" Hey it's funny. It's good to be loved. I have to say my co-workers have gone over the top with this joke. They got the supervisor involved and created me an actual badge. See below.

How do your co-workers show you that they love you?

Warranties

2005-01-18T14:47:00.000-05:00

Came back from the Mexican restaurant today, bloated as usual. It's 20% Off Day on Tuesdays. My roommate noticed I had what appeared to be a busted belt in my tire. Hmm. Then I notice that I got a big ol' screw in the tread as well. I guess it paid to get that Road Hazard warranty from S&S Tire.

A few months back I was replacing all my tired because well I got a flat tire. They needed to be replaced anyway. I was just wearing them out to extend the time that I needed to replace them. The sales clerk mentioned the Road Hazard warranty like a good little monkey. I had to think if this was worth it. Then I recalled my horrible luck with vehicles and then even narrowed it down to tires and it got worse.

Let's start with my old 88 Chevy Nova. I was driving back from Scout Camp with my brother and I had picked up some tiny remnant of a nail. It had begun to rain and I was going around a turn and lost control. Spun around three times and ended up falling backwards into a huge ditch. Had to have a tow truck pull me out. Five feet either way I could have driven myself out. Later in college, someone slashed both my driver's side tires. Hell I even had someone steal the spare tire out of the back of the trunk of that car.

Then my parents gave me the 92 Nissan truck. Early after graduating I was commuted to Lexington where I worked at Subway. Can we say damn shitty economy. I was parked across the street at Kroger's. Where they were doing renovations and I picked up a drywall screw. Later when I was working at Lexmark I was getting off the interstate something shredded my rear passenger tire. I was halfway down the road to work before I realized that I could call my supervisor to come help me. We had to drive back towards town to pick up the interstate so we could get off on the exit where the truck was parked.

Then there is the day that prompted the new tires. Just getting ready to get of the interstate towards Winchester and had a blow out. Thought someone's vehicle had a backfire. Until on the exit I couldn't drive the truck with any amount of control. Pulled into the gas station. Shredded tire.

When the guy said, "Road Hazard?" I said, "You betcha!"

Ten on Tuesday

2005-01-18T10:43:00.000-05:00

Ten News Stories/Celebrities that You're Tired Of

1) Michael Jackson and his little boys
2) Bennifer – part 1
3) FCC bullshit
4) American Idol stars – except Clarkson, she is hot & talented
5) Ashlee Simpson and her vocal backups
6) Asston Kutcher and Demi Moore
7) The Govenator
8) Bush’s new appointees
9) Bennifer – part 2
10) War in Iraq