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Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Lovely Day

I swear sometimes it doesn't pay to wake up in the morning. Everything was fairly smooth this morning considering I have to sleep in a lumpy spring-ridden twin mattress with a dog. I let her out and feed her then hop in the shower. Usually she is right outside the door being nosy but this morning I found her curled up in the bed. She was acting like she was sleeping. I thought this a bit odd but figured it was better then her pestering me. I bound down stairs to put my lunch together and round the corner of the hallway and find a little Lincoln Log near the end of the table. At least its solid I thought to myself. Around the corner there is another one. Great.

I get a paper towel to pick up the logs and as I bent over to pick up the original loaf in the dimly lit hallway I spy another piece of poop. I bend over and pick up that piece of poop only to see another two lumps at the other end of the hallway. This is when the dog knows she fucked up and skitters into the laundry room to hide. Thank goodness I hadn't stepped in those piles in the hallway or I would have been livid.

I take the dog outside and dispose of the turds in the yard. I leave her outside and proceed to clean up the spots on the carpet. Then I hunt around the house to make sure she didn't leave any other turd pyramids. Try to be nice the beast and what does she do but shit all over the place. Damn dog is sleeping in the garage tonight.