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Monday, February 28, 2005

Testing, Testing, Is This Thing On?

Some quizzes from ananonymousgirl
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Exotic Dancer
You're Exotic Dancer Barbie. You have some moves,
and will do anything for a few bucks. Take it
off girl, but keep it PG-13 please.
If You Were A Barbie, Which Messed Up Version Would You Be?
brought to you by Quizilla
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This is so true. I love to shake my ass. Occasionally I will make an apperance at a local strip club. One of the best bargins at strip club is the Dollar Dances. Let's ya sample the goods before purchasing an extended encouter with a lovely lady. Now the DeeJay will always try to dupe the crowd by asking who wants a free round. I mean geez it's a dollar people. Little do most people know the stripper gets the free dance. Now most guys just try to make it through this a painlessly as possible. Me? I relish it. I'll shake my ass, take my shirt off, get all up on the girl. Hell usually I have to be told by the DeeJay to keep my clothes on. The girls love it.

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Grover on X
Grover on Ecstasy
You're funny, you're loveable, you're entertaining,
you like to call yourself "Super
Grover!"--You're obviously on ecstasy.
But that's why we love you. Be careful, ok?
Which Sesame Street Muppet's Dark Secret Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
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Most definatly why people love me. I'm on crack all the time.

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Take the What
animal best portrays your sexual appetite??
Quiz
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Where's my teacher?

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Hottie of the Week

This week's Hottie is the lovely Marsha. I had the pleasure of working with Marsha at Mail Boxes Etc one summer when I was home from college. After that summer I lost track of her until I was at Hooter's for a calendar signing. Marsha and I caught up on out lives and hugged. Hadn't talked to her since. Emperor Joe and I were looking at the Hometown Hotties from Maxim and there was Marsha again. A semi-finalist in Maxim's contest even.


Marsha always wanted to be a model. Hopefully she is following her dream.

Friday, February 25, 2005

Over The Hill

Once I again I spend an evening at Paddy Wagon's. Imagine that I have been doing it for a month now. You don't know how long I have wanted to have a night every week that some people get together and drink some beer. Last night the fellowship truly came to fruitation. Joe, Ben, and Andre from work were there when Dave and I got there.

Kristi was there ready to take our order. Dave said, "Just bring something left on the list." I ordered a Half & Half. For those who don't know what this is; it's Guinness over Harp. This was quite yummy and knocked two beers off my list. It's very odd that the Master loves beer but he has never had Guiness or Harp before. Sometimes you get into those comfort zones. I really wanted to be one of those people that loves Guinness. It's refreshing to say that I am. hehe.

Everyone else got there earlier that Dave and I and were already eating. Kristi brought us menus. Joe said the Gaelic Cheese Steak was really good. Decided to give that a try. It was pretty good but I like the Pub Burger better.

Next off the list was Leinenkugel's Red. A microbrew from Wisconsin. Very much like Killian's. Has that rich bitter taste. I liked it and would like to try the other beers from this Brewery. It was most hilarious watching Ben trying to muscle down the Dixie Blacken Voodoo. Like I said it tastes like soap water. His face would contort into the most awful of facial expression. Sheer disgust.

Andre doesn't drink beer but loves Jager. We ordered up some Jager Bombs. Kristi came and brought an extra shot. I asked, "What's that for?" Her reply, "I'm gonna do one with you guys." Awesome. To Paddy Wagon's and down the hatch. Andre did two more Jager Bombs in a row. I knew this was bad. This kid did like three more straight Jager shots through out the rest of the night. Andre says there are all kinds of things you can mix with Jager. The Drunken Master is gonna have to seem some outside enlightenment on this.

After the Jager Bomb, the next beer to fill my belly was Woodchuck. Woodchuck is hard apple cider so technically not a beer. I really love Woodchuck especially if you want an adult beverage to sip. If you can find it on tap it's an experience.

Joe's pussy ass had to go home to his woman. I guess I can't blame since he is the one getting ass and not me. Beck's bit the dust next. A German beer with much regard as in import. It had that nice bitter foreign hoppy taste. Not something I would drink all the time.

Closing out the night with a Michelob Lite. What can we say another cheapass American beer brewed by Anheuser-Busch. Everyone esle left earlier in the night because well Dave and I are not wussies, but Andre stuck it out with us. That's were all that Jager and Red Bull went. He looked good until we were ready to leave and Bam! it hit him. Drunk as a skunk but wired like a weasel. Those Jager Bombs are evil. Dave and I took him back to the apartment where Dave tried to calm him down and let him sober up so he could drive back up to Lexington. I had two shots of Southern Comfort to take the edge off. I hate when it's my turn to drive. It was good having a sweet and soothing voice to put me to sleep. wink

Thursday, February 24, 2005

Embarrassing Moment

Last May, I went to this girl's house for an after Finals party. Now mind you I used to sleep with this girl. There was several people from my fraternity that are still in school and some of her sorority sisters. It was a nice small and casusal get together. Everyone was drinking and having a good time.

The group started playing I, never. Now what got to be funny is that most everyone there knows everyone pretty well and their exploits. Someone had said, "I've never had sex with a Phi Tau Alum." The girl I had sex with had to drink. Obviously. Now what was funny is a couple of girls where like, "Caitlin?" Everyone laughed because she and one of my little brothers, Whampler, had been having freaky-deaky fuck buddy sex. There are two things about Whampler that I will add to his epitaph when he passes. One his ability to drink some of the nastiest alcohol imaginable and two, his ability to get ass. The game continues and everyone is called out for something. I got shafted on one. "I've never had sex in the bathroom at the sorority house." Shit. I had to drink twice. My "X" and this girl.

We continue drinking and such. At this point I'm not really caring that the girl I used to screw('s) "boyfriend" is there. Weird fucker anyway. One of my brothers J-Rod rolls up after getting off work at the movie theater. He and I smoke a big phat J on the front porch. Yeah you heard that right the PIMP was smoking a boobie. Now I had been sipping on a nice screwdriver and I was buzzed from the alcohol by now. I took about three puffs and I was baked. There I sat on the front porch stoned out of my gorde. I was so gone that I felt retarded.

Then it hit me. My stomach said, "Time to exacuate all non-essential calories." I stood up and hurled all over the Herbie that was in the front yard. I ran to the side of the house and threw up some more. Here is the good part. I was heaving so hard I sharted my pants. Opps.

I was pretty much done so I went to the bathroom to clean up myself and my drawers. I got into the bathroom and locked the door. Did want anyone to see Lil' Mikey. hehe. It hit me again. I bowed down to that Porclein God and launched the blackest vomit I had ever seen. I just sat there heaving a couple of more times. Begging to pass out. I just laid there on the floor trying to hold on so I wouldn't spin out of control.

I woke up with someone knocking at the door. "Come on. I need to go to the bathroom." There I was curled up hugging the sink cabnet. I got up and walked out. Felt like I had been hit by a Mac truck. I sat down on the couch and recounted what I thought happened to me. Here is were it gets freaky. Real quick like. There was some random dude that showed up while I was passed out. It was like two in the morning and everyone wanted to go to bed and this dude would not get the hint and leave. The girl's "boyfriend" had a taser. That's right a taser. A fucking taser. To weak to really do anything. My mind was freaking out. This guy is going to taser my ass. Really he just wanted to taser the random dude. Whewoo.

The night was done and I curled up into a Papas-an chair to sleep off the rest of the Funk.

Pimpin Again

It's time to pimp want of my favorite artists, Renee Atkinson. Renee was commissioned to render my D&D character, Adriana.


Click the image for a larger version.

Renee's portfolio is always eye-popping with detail and realism eventhough her style is very comic-esque. Be sure to visit her webpage and her DeviantArt page. This gem will is going to look fabulous next to the other two.

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Sexual Exploration

I haven't had the opportunity to explore the quizzes that ananonymousgirl posted on her blog. Now I have and I share them exclusively with you.


Your Sexual Personality
Sensitive Water Sign Lover
You're more soulful than the average lover and, like a Water Sign, your physical yearnings are inextricably tied to your emotions. You feel things deeply and may tend to idealize lovers, hoping with each intimate encounter that you've finally found your soul mate, the person who understands your intense, complex heart and fulfills your fantasies. Your vivid imagination and strong emotional attachments can intimidate some, but your profound and unguarded response to intimacy is worth the risk. Since you're so openhearted, you're also vulnerable to opportunists who seek only to use you. Steel yourself with the emotional armor of Cancer and surprise and delight with the bold sexual creativity of Scorpio. And like dreamy Pisces, express to your lover the depth of your pleasure. They will appreciate knowing the impact they've had on you!
-----
Very true.
-----

juicy



You Are A Juicy Kisser!


About Your Kissing Style:


Your lips are totally kissable baby, and you know how to use them.

You are the perfect - with the right combo of lips and tongue.

It's important to flaunt it, so kiss early and often on dates!


What Your Kissing Style Says About You:


You're 100% hot, and you know it. You're all about being sexy, all the time.

You have no trouble scoring dates or kisses ...

Just trouble getting rid of jealous people trying to show you up!

You attract attention from every hot guy and girl... even before you show off your kissing skills.


Your Personal Kissing Matches and Mismatches:



Go out with another Juicy Kisser and you'll be the power couple of the party. Sure, you'll have a ton of
hot kisses, but only after everyone there has checked you guys out. Hook it up with a
Romantic Kisser and you may have found your soulmate.
Romantic Kissers will be attracted to your appeal, and you'll appreciate their loyalty.



Keep away from Carnal Kissers! They'll just try to play you for sex, and
ruin your reputation in a heartbeat. And Freaky Kissers are way too wild and
rough for your style. You prefer pleasure to pain, thank you very much.



How Do *You* Kiss?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

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I like this one.
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missionary



Your Sex Position is Missionary


Classic. Satisfying. And a bit bland.

Here's one you've probably seen before.

Could be good. Could be a bore.



What's Your Sex Position?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

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WTF? I am so not this. I think it's the fact that I chose vanilla as my ice cream.
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You're a Speed Strip!


The thought of someone looking at your lil bit of hair in a speed strip isn't just seductive and a suggestion...

It's a huge turn on. You love thinking of someone licking your coochie hair!



What's Your Pubic Hair Style?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

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Well this quiz was really just for the ladies. The Master will try anything once.
-----






Your Scent is Blue


Like Blue, you change and adapt frequently.
One moment you're sexy and captivating...
The next? Fun, warm, and inviting.
You're hard to predict - but that's the essence of your charm.
Power scents: Jasmine, orange flower, and lotus flower.



What Scent Are You? Take This Quiz :-)



Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.




-----
One additional quiz for my sweetie.

Feelings

I want to express my many thanks to those people come to my zen beer garden for entertainment and what not. It makes me feel so good inside. Especially when you leave comments. Hint, Hint. I appreciate so much that you guys indulge my need to show off and be a celebrity.

I love being that drunken and most-of-the-time sober screwball. I love making people laugh and feel good about themselves. Even humor me when I decide to geek out on my blog. You guys provide so much excite during my hours I have to spend droning on at work. Makes the day so much better.

At time I can be that philosophical and melancholy drunk and you guys expand my mind on a daily basis. I do so love learning. Someone enjoyed my poetry very much and told me that I should share it here. I will do so from now on.

Thanks guys for making me feel special.

----------------------------------------------------
Woman
Form -
Elegant on the bed
Bra and panties beside her
Hair frames her delicate face
Bright eyes shines
Thin nape
Milky white breasts
Smooth areola
Distinct nipples
Strong hands rest
On her heaving stomach
Navel
Round and concave
Pierced
Centerpoint
Mons, neatly shaven
A flower blooms in the valley
Legs extended gently
Crossed
Exquisite feet
The foundation

Ten on Tuesday


Ten Influential Women in History

1) Mother Teresa
2) Audrey Hepburn
3) Eleanor Roosevelt
4) Shirley Muldowney
5) Joan of Arc
6) Harriet Beecher Stowe
7) Mary Magdalene
8) Clara Barton
9) Jenna Jameson
10) My Mother – Would I be here today without her influence?

Monday, February 21, 2005

Whole Bunch of Nothing

Here is a little Blogthing for ya, peeps. Very much me.





Your Brain is 46.67% Female, 53.33% Male


Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female
You are both sensitive and savvy
Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed
But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve



-----------------------------------------
My weekend was much of the usual stuff that keeps me occupied. Flashback to Thurday I did get a call from one of my brother's friends, Arbanna. She asked me what I was doing and I said nothing. She then asked me if I wanted to get high. I haven't been high in 9 months since I knew real soon I would be getting "hired" on. It was real tempting, but thought I would pass just to be safe. Return to the present. Arbanna did call me Saturday night to see what was up. People were supposed to come over to my place to party. I cleaned up and headed over to show everyone how to actually get to my place. While waiting for everyone to supposedly get in gear, Arbanna and I ordered a pizza from a local joint. This think was called the Wagon Wheel and barely fit throught the door. It was good. As the lovely hostess Arbanna is she fixed me a mighty fine drink of vodka and Ale 8. Ale 8 is a local soft drink; ost affectionately call it Winchester swamp water. Either you love it or hate it. I like it. Has a nice ginger taste. No one wanted to go anywhere so Misti, Arbanna, and I watched a movie. Tara was patiently waiting For her boyfriend to finish watching the UK game, so she could get laid. hehe.

-----------------------------------------
blinkingbeauty posted this question on her blog: If you were an empty bottle of any beverage, what would that beverage be and where would you be found?

I would have to say that I would be a bottle of Maker's Mark and I would be found at any local pub. Why? Because everyone knows that I love Maker's like it is water and because at the local pub I would know that everyone enjoyed having me around.

Too Funny

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

Emperor Joe was not impressed with Geek God's comment that he was preoccupied with poop. Here is the offending comment. I greatly enjoy Joe's Public Service Announcements about the facilities at work. Hell I write about them too.

Joe has masterfully posted a retort to the Geek God. Please comment on the Emperor's blog.

Hottie of the Week

Last night I was watching Dude Where's My Car? and there is something magical about her.


I think it has to do a lot with sometime between Buffy and Big Daddy, she got a boob job. That doctor had some skilled hands. I perfer my women al-natural but won't know a woman for enhancing her assets. Check out this fan site for more of Kristi Swanson. Enjoy.

Friday, February 18, 2005

What You Have Been Waiting For

Once again it's the day after a night at Paddy Wagon's. After much waiting Emperor Joe finally got to go out with Dave and I. Last week the roads were slick because we got a little snow, the Emperor's truck doesn't go very well in the snow. Wuss. Joe stopped by the house after work. Dave and I were finishing up scanning my DVDs into a database. I have over 200 DVDs and soon I will have over 50 new burned DVDs. Isn't technology great.

The three of us arrived at Paddy Wagon's at 7:30. I want you to note this time because Dave and I don't usually go out until nine. Kristi came with are Beer Cards in hand. =) I must say she was looking mighty hot that night. We needed some food. Paddy's had some great food and appetizers. I ordered my usual Pub Burger and Waffle fries with extra ketchup. First beer off the list for that night was Heineken. Many people love the sophisticated taste of Heineken. Me. I personally think its dry and has the weirdest aftertaste of hops. Finished that off before the food came and ordered a Dos Equis.

You all know my feelings for Corona. Mexican Horse Piss for those that just happened to stop by via Blog Explosion or BlogClicker, but I really like Dos Equis. It has that warm taste that all amber beers have. It is a pleasure to drink this beer. Soon after we finished eating and began to bullshit about work as we always do. I ordered a Busch. I hadn't realized until today all the beers that Anheuser-Busch produced. Many of them like Busch taste so much better than Budweiser, the supposed King of Beer. King of Beers my ass.

We are kicked back smoking and bullshitting, and a bit of an argument broke out about some crazy bitch whining about how many times she paid for the pool table. The dude she was arguing with was doing her best to not blow up in the bitch's face. Needless to say we had a laugh at her dumbass's expense.

Joe had to leave before it got too late. Once again frickin wuss. Dave and I were left to our own devices. Next off the list was Amstel Light. I have always liked this beer. Light and crisp. Did you know it's America's number one imported light beer. I guess when your only competition is Corona Light the only place to go is up. Kidding aside Amstel Light is a great beer.

Now we come to the poor college student's beer of choice, Natural Light. What can you say about a beer nicked name Nattie? This stuff is so horrible in a can and even worse in a keg, but out of a bottle it's not too bad. While enjoying this beer that crazy lady comes up to our table. Looks and Dave then looks at me and with a wink and a smile asks us if we wanted to shoot some pool. I said, "Um, No." Whew that was a close one. Dave and I just laughed.

At this point we were starting to get a tad bit tipsy, but we decided to have one more before we go. Each of us had a Pilsner Urquell, a Czech pale ale. Dave and I were definitely feeling the effects of alcohol and couldn't for the life of us pronounced this little guy, so we just called it Pissing Urinal. It was too funny because Dave and I both thought it was really good. I definitely recommend giving this one a whirl.

It's late at this point but not late enough to close down the bar like we usually do. Dave and I say, "Fuck it!" and have another one. Are final beer for the evening was Pacifico Clara, another Mexican beer. This one was a mighty fine pale ale. Another beer I would recommend giving a try. Kristi was a little disappointed that we didn't close down the bar like we usually do. I explained if we stayed we would be walking home. She promptly said, "I'm not scared of you two. I'd take you home." Like I said Kristi was looking fabulous last night and I'm going to have to remember that offer.

Seven beers off the list and a thirty dollar tab we walked out and nearly got ran over by two half naked college girls going to Hurricanes. Alas, I am too old to chase that young a pu-nannie around.

My Childhood Is Being Destroyed

This morning I was listening to the local radio station, Z-Rock 103. Twitch, the DJ, was relaying a story from MSNBC how Warner Bros. is "updating" the Looney Tunes. Warner Bros. is giving the Tunes a "makeover" so that Bugs and company will appeal to this new generation. Now look at this image. These are not the Looney Tunes. This is some whacked out fluffy bunny bullshit.


The article says that these whack jobs are supposed to be the descendants of our beloved Bugs. Get this these "madeover" fucks are superheroes in the year 2772.

This kills me. David Janollari, president of the Kids’ WB, said, “I think the legacy is intact. If anything, it’s an homage to the legacy instead of a destruction of the legacy.” Please. Would I be bitching about this on a blog if it didn't matter to me. You are killing my childhood you corporate gimp.

The article says that the kids loved it. That's great the kids love the pretty colors and these are the same kids who love Barney. Barney the monstrosity that made every parent want to gouge out their eyes. Do corporations not realize that it's the parents that make the decisions on what their children watch and buy the toys kids want? I guess I pray that this is still the case.

OK. I'm done bitching.

It's Early

I'm a little foggy from last night so the review will have to wait. Join me instead for some cheer for Firefox reaching 25 million downloads.

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Yes Indeed-ie

I struggled with what to write about today. I am working on a post that will inspire everyone to deviousness but like a good soup it must simmer. The Grand Master of Beer-Fu, Huber, sent me this incredible link to Valetine's Day's companion holiday. Steak and BJ Day. It's fairly obvious what this holiday is about but click the link for a complete description. I felt obligated to share this with you, my readers. Ladies mark March 14th in your calendars and men will do their damnest to make V-Day memorable.

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Feel The Burn

It's quite apparent that one of my reader who shall remain anonymous (hint, hint, wink, wink) was none too happy with my choices for Ten on Tuesday. In my defense it was hastily put together. Most of these people are heroes of sorts but still I dig my own hole with this excuse. It seems. Regardless, I have been challenged to come up with ten influence women. Next week look for my ten most influential women. Miss Yano I blame you for this burning sensation I am experiencing.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Ten on Tuesday


Ten Influential People in History

1) Ronald Reagan
2) Ron Jeremy
3) Stephen Hawkins
4) Albert Einstein
5) Adam Smith
6) Socrates
7) Sean Connery
8) Dale Earnhardt
9) The Rock
10) JFK

Monday, February 14, 2005

Who Would Have Thought





Your Passion is Orange







Your sex life is driven by your wild fantasies.
For you, sex is a dramatic performance where you are the star.
And you love putting on a wild act for your lover, trying to top last night's show.
Whether you enjoy the actual sex is irrelevant... it's all about putting on a good act!



----
I read this and said to myself, "But, I want to enjoy sex. This is kinda shallow." Then I realized the best sex I have had is when I knew that my partner was having the time of her life. It is like this in all aspects of my life. If the people around me aren't having fun, I'm not having fun. I'm an actor and I want my audience to laugh and be happy.

Every person I have dated but one has been younger than me. I have been the teacher in these relationships. I enjoy teaching people. I initiated so many amazing things with my "X" but there was no exchange of passion. It's a revelation that I need to sit back and become the diligent student. It's hard to ask someone to please teach me about passion and expertise. I want to love and be loved in return.

As an added funny my brother asked me, "Is it weird that a girl talks about getting herself off?" I said, "Nope. It's refreshing." I explained to him, "I can never trust a woman that doesn't masturbate." Many women don't masturbate because they are unfamiliar or feel "icky" about their bodies. A woman that masturbates knows about her body and how to express herself. Have you ever run into a woman who just didn't know what she wanted. Well this was my "X" and she made figuring out how to take care or her needs very frustrating. I have no inhibitions about caring for the every need of my woman but figuring them out I cannot do.

I hope everyone had an exquisite V-Day. I had plans to take a girl that I have the hots for out to Arlington. Arlington is part of EKU's alumni association which includes a swimming pool, golf course, and more importantly an exquisite mansion / restaurant. My parents are members so I pulled in a marker with the 'rents to get some reservations. I called this girl and left a message for her to give me a time when she would like to go out. I called her two other times that evening. Never returned my calls. Am I upset? Nope. I saved myself about $75 but once again I just don't understand women. I do have to appreciate this wonderful post from blinkingbeauty.



In closing this is so me. I am a transparent person. What you see is what you get.




Your Seduction Style: The Natural





You don't really try to seduce people... it just seems to happen.
Fun loving and free spirited, you bring out the inner child in people.
You are spontaneous, sincere, and unpretentious - a hard combo to find!
People drop their guard around you, and find themselves falling fast.


Hottie of the Week

This week's hottie is the scruptious Brittany Daniel. She captivated audiences as the sweet and innocent Brandy in Joe Dirt, opposite David Spade.


I must say it's a pleasure watching Joe Dirt and listening to Brittany Daniel's sweet Southern twang. Enjoy.

Friday, February 11, 2005

hehe ...Testing

Score!!
Beer
Beer


?? Which Alcoholic Drink Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

I can see this but that doesn't mean I don't want to explore new possiblities. ananonymousgirl?
pure
pure


What's YOUR sexual fetish?
brought to you by Quizilla

I Wonder Sometimes

Mimi a current news story about a baby being thrown out of the window of a car. You can read the full story here.

WTF. I guess every generation had its atrocities. I'm not so sure I have much else to say but God be with that child and his/her parents.

Be This Friend


Is this not so true. I have to say one of the best decisions in my life was joining my fraternity, Phi Kappa Tau. Several of the people I have met during my years in college will be life long friends that will stand beside me. Some of you are probally saying, "You were just buying your friends." This is so stupid. Hell, most of us couldn't pay our dues. There is something to say about the bond, "A brother from another mother."

Now on for the good stuff. Thursday night at Paddy Wagon's.
The regular treatment is starting to set it. Kristi said hi to us and we sat down. She presented us with our beer cards without even asking our names. I promptly ordered a Sam Adams. I drank a lot of Sam Adams Cherry Wheat in college, but never the original. My notion of the original is that it is the only real beer brewed in the United States. Basically not watered down swill. I must say for an amber colored beer it was smooth and left a nice nutty after taste. I have had Sam Adams Light and if you aren't into darker beers it's quite a freshing pale ale.

Next, Dave and I asked Kristi what she recommended. She said she liked Birra Moretti, and Italian beer. I said to Dave, "I thought all them made in Italy was wine and pasta." Moretti is a very pale lager. I honestly couldn't tell you how well it tasted since it was masked by the richness of Sam Adams.

Next, I had a Michelob. One thing about the Beer Card is that I'm forced to drink some other American beers. This guy was pretty good. If you are into most American Lagers that Michelob won't treat you wrong.

In closing I decided to pay homage to our neighbors to the North. I have the opinion that the only good thing that comes from Canada is beer. To finish off the night I had a Molson. From what I could tell it was a light amber beer that was crisp and clean. I do enjoy Canadian beer. I have so been wanting to try Molson Triple X which is supposed to have the highest alchohol content of any beer and cannot be imported into the US.

Somehow the Molson gave me the hiccups real bad and I sounded like a real drunk last night right before we were gonna leave. I couldn't say two words without hiccupping. Emperor Joe was supposed to make an appearance last night but pussed out because the roads were bad. Everyone needs to go to his blog and give him HELL.


I am this but I think I'm more of a Philosophical Drunk.
I'm So Drunk!
What Kind of Drunk Are You?
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Heart of the Hero

I got this from the Geek God.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My Inner Hero - Rogue!



I'm a Rogue!


It's a good thing I use my powers for good and not evil, because quite frankly, I could get away with murder. I'm clever, tricky, and charming. I know how to make you laugh with one hand and pick your pocket with the other. Not that I'd ever DO that, of course...



How about you? Click here to find your own inner hero
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I don't know if I necessarily agree with this, but I can be a shiesty bastard. Usually when I play D&D I like to be a tank, so that I can go in there an beat the ever living shit out of things. As of late I am trying to broaden my horizons and in each group that I am in I'm playing something different.

First, we have Viktor Hammerskald, a Dwarf Paladin whose holy mount is a Silver Dragon. Viktor started out as a Fighter because I love to play tanks. Viktor's calling into holy smiting was me trying to broaden my role-playing game experience. I'm a holy man but I get to kill shit. Yeah.

Then we have Adriana Ambrosio, an Elven Bard in the Geek God's. Really she is just a huge tramp. Bards are the jacks-of-all-trades. Bards mostly support the rest of the adventuring party's needs. Adriana really fills that out nicely. hehe. Playing Adriana in the Geek God's game is mostly definitely at the other end of the spectrum of RPing than Viktor. I so love RPing this slut. *looks around* Did I say that out loud?

Finally we have Victoria Shinkensan, a Human Cleric. What is very exciting about this character is that she is being played in Wizards of the Coast's new campaign setting Eberron. One of Eberron's deities is called the Silver Flame. Worshippers of the Silver Flame are in essence worshipping the spirit of a long dead chick. The author of the setting explains that the leaders of the church could quite possible become corrupt. I'm thinking that might be an interesting plot twist in this group's dynamics.

Many people don't understand role-playing games. I had a friend once describe it as part acting, part storytelling, and that is so true. It just always a someone to be someone or something else for a brief moment in time.

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Bust A Cap In Yo Ass

Brought to us by the lovely blinkingbeauty


Thug Bear
Thug Bear


Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
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Another Nipple

Ali of I write, therefore I blog brought this to my attention. Ah Playboy bunnies. See that little nip poking out at a Super Bowl party.


Here is the rest of the story.

Didn't Know That

I definitely like shiny objects.

You are hardocp.com You like to push things to the limit, the faster the better.  You're into modification.  You like shiny objects, and flashing lights.
Which Website are You?


Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Who's Your Daddy?

I just wanted to let all my blog peeps know that I just got hired on. That's right I will soon no longer be working for Kelly Services. As much as I'm going to miss bugging the hell out of Katie and Cheryl, I will enjoy having actual benefits.

Ten on Tuesday


Ten Reasons Why Valentines Day is a Stupid Holiday

1) Buying flowers that will just die
2) Paying way too much for those damn flowers
3) Anxiety attacks for not creating the perfect V-Day
4) Not meeting the expectations of a women
5) Dinner reservations at places like Applebee’s
6) Worthless candy for months
7) Anxiety of trying not to be alone on V-Day
8) Did I say stupid flowers yet
9) Makes single people feel miserable
10) My Father gets off easy (Mother’s B-Day, Anniversary, and V-Day all on the same day)



Monday, February 07, 2005

Not This Time

Super Bowl Sunday was my fraternity big brother, Goose's, 28th birthday. We went Saturday to celebrate. Goose wanted to go to McCarthy's, an Irish bar in Lexington, KY. Once again they have Guinness and Harp on tap. I had to arrive a little late because I had a previous appointment to play D&D Minis. Goose was already looking a little trashed. Most of the night was great fellowship with my fraternity brothers. It was Midnight and Jason wanted to go home. We look everyone where for the Goose cannot find him. McCarthy's isn't really a big bar, it's cozy like that. We wasted 30 minutes with unfruitful attempts to find him, so we can go home. I find him in the new bar of McCarthy's that isn't attached to the rest of the main bar. There he sat with two other fraternity brothers, also his boys from his home town, Tick and Green.

I tell him, "Jason wants to go. Are you coming?" "Nah, I'm trying to hit on this beautiful woman here." Now what you must understand is that the Goose is one ugly muthafucker. I turned to the girl who was obviously going to sleep with Green and asked, "Are you gonna suck the Goose's dick?" She said, "Only if he pays me." "Goose you're shit out of luck man. Let's go home." Still he is belligerent and wants to stay. I turned to Tick and Green and said, "You guys got him?" "Yeah," and I said my good-byes.

I go back to Jason's to drink some more beer and throw some darts. It's around one in the morning and we figured it would be a matter of time before the Goose would be showing up at home. He was shit faced when I left him. About two we call Tick and asked him, "Where's the Goose?" He says, "I don't know we lost him." "How in the hell do you lose the Goose?" "He got up to go to the bathroom and never game back." Figuring they were shitting with us, Jason and I took it at face value. When Tick and Green rolled through the front door without the Goose, we got worried. The whole time Goose wasn't answering his cell phone.

Almost four in the morning Jason gets a call on his cell phone, it's from the Goose. Thank god. Jason gets all serious on the phone. Jason recounts that Goose is in an ambulance headed to UK Hospital. We argue who is gonna go bail him out. I said, "I'll go. Jason, come with me?" Inside the Emergency Room, a nurse takes us back. There the Goose was in a hospital gown with his junk all hangin out. "How ya feel?" "I'm fine. I just want my boxers." The Goose was alright. After some formalities to get him released, Jason asks the nurse, "Where did they find him?" "Corner of Buck Lane and Michelle Park" That corner is two houses down from where Goose and Jason live.

Hottie of the Week

This week's hottie, Vida Guerra, was brought to my attention by Jay over at DaTaste.com. Vida exploded onto the scene from the pages of FHM magazine. Vida's body is so banging and bootilicous.


Don't you agree? Vida's popularity keeps growing. She has such a following, even in prisons. One inmate has a Vida tattoo inked on his thigh. Be sure to check out more of Vida at her official website.

Friday, February 04, 2005

In Parting

The weekend is almost here. Thank all that is holy. Today has been rough. I came in about 15 minutes late because I just didn't want to get up this morning. hehe. As soon as I got in this morning they needed me to take Help Desk calls. They were 20+ in queue. Seems someone ran a script on the network that locked everyone's Active Directory accounts. Monkeys work at Nextel, I swear. Anywho. I got an extra hour of OT for the week and free lunch. Guess where it came from? Wait for it. Arby's. I promptly asked for a cherry turnover and my request was granted. Now I will share with you how tempting that delectable dessert can be.

HaloScan is Here

This is for all those people that were bitching on my blog that BlogSpot commenting sucks. I agree it does blow donkey dick. There bitches I got HaloScan now, so comment to your heart's content. I do miss my old comments though. R.I.P. little guys you will be missed but not forgotten.

How Drunk Am I?

A reader has asked me to post some pictures of me drunk. Enjoy.




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Paddy Wagon's was great last night. Kristi was a sweetheart and made sure we had the best service ever. I'm really digging this regular treatment. Well four more beers off of the Beer Card: Foster's, Old Peculiar, Michalob Ultra, and PBR. Foster's. What can you say when they call it the Oil Can. Old Peculiar. I have to say was a really good beer. Brewed in England and very smooth, a lot like Amberboch. Ultra. I now know why it's low carb, it tastes like water. Pabst Blue Ribbon. Suprisingly this cheap ass beer is pretty good, but we got the royal treatment. It was in a bottle.

As a Friday feature I will recount my thoughts on the beers I have knocked off the Beer Card from the night before.

Thursday, February 03, 2005

Mmm ...Beer

Paddy Wagon's tonight, yeah.

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Before I Go Home

I'm mildly a political person and I like to keep my blog free of politics. If I find something I want to bitch about I will bitch about it. Enjoy this little quiz I found to learn a little bit more about yourself.

World's Smallest Political Quiz


I am that RED DOT.

Your PERSONAL issues Score is 60%.
Your ECONOMIC issues Score is 60%.

Take the quiz and let's comment.

The Down Low

blinkingbeauty
1. What's your biggest fantasy?
:: Sharing a sunrise with a beautiful woman
2. If you got to talk on a major TV station that most of the world was watching for 1 minute what would you say?
:: I’m a handsome young man and I need a woman.
3. Name one crazy thing you want to do still in life.
:: Skydiving and bungee jumping.

Winning Loser
1. Why are you doing this?
:: I found it on anathemasremedy’s DeviantArt page. Filled it out. Then I had to copy it into my blog like it says. Duh.
2. How much do you love cherry pastries?
:: A prefer apple but that one in particular was a luscious little tart.
3. Can I have a cookie?
:: Sure.

Robin
1. How many times a week do you spank your monkey?
:: 2-5 times.
2. How many times a week would you spank my monkey?
:: Every fucking day.
3. Would you let your monkey play with my monkey?
:: I’ll have to ask him.

Samantha
1. What's the strangest thing you've ever done, sexually speaking, of course?
:: I would be more than happy to share my sexual experiences with you but I don’t think any of them are strange.
2. What's the tamest thing you'll *never* do, sexually speaking?
:: I really gotta say anal sex.
3. When spanking the ol' monkey, do you use visual stimulation? Or is it all in your head?
:: Depends on the mood I’m in. Most of the time, no.

moviegrrl
1. Who was your first love?
:: I would have to say this Asian girl in the 2nd grade. I had the biggest crush on her. She moved away sometime during the school year. I don’t remember when exactly. I still wonder what happened to her.
2. What's your favorite Meal?
:: My mom's spaghetti.
3. What's your favorite building?
:: I would have to say the William T. Young Library on the University of Kentucky’s campus. The architecture made it so inviting. I actually wanted to go study there.

Anonymous
1. Why did you choose your profile photo?
:: It's one of my favorite pictures of me showing young grasshoppers the art of Beer-Fu.
2. Three blogs you can't live without?
:: Out of Character, MoreThanWords, and yanowhatimean?
3. Name of your second pet as a child?
:: I think it was Bert, my guinea pig.

Mimi
1. Ever cheated on a girlfriend?
:: Yeah. I had gotten into a fight with my “X” and was over at the fraternity house drinking. I always had a crush on one of the fraternity regulars (girls that hang out with the fraternity) and she was there. We were flirting and both pretty drunk. We went out onto the back porch were everyone goes to make out. We swap some spit and I’m groping her. She says, “We need to stop you have a girlfriend.” That was it that night. I don’t feel guilty about it since my “X” pretty much ripped my heart out.
2. What's your worst sexual experience?
:: I can’t say that I have had a worst sexual experience. I will have to say that sex with the “X” was not very exciting even though we experimented a lot.
3. Ever sharted your pants?
:: Yes. I was driving to church for a missions trip. I was lifting my leg to let one rip and my draws become wet. I ran to the bathroom cleaned up and pitched them in the trashcan. I had to conserve boxers on that trip since I was a pair short.

Brian Blaz.
1. Where do you see yourself in 20 years?
:: Married with kids and a solid career.
2. If you could get drunk with three people from history, who would they be?
:: Socrates, it would be so cool to get him drunk and talk some philosophical shit with him. Sir Winston Churchill, since he was drunk all the time I know he is a cool muthafucker. Buddha, just to ask him what he was thinking at that very moment.
3. Why did you start your blog?
:: To be like the cool kids on the Internet.

annette
1. Does God exist?
:: Yup.
2. What is the meaning of life?
:: 42.
3. What is currently in your fridge?
:: Beer, cheese, lunchmeat, Red Bull, pizza, OJ, soda, and condiments.

ananonymousgirl
1. Have you ever had a threesome?
:: Nope.
2. Would you consider a threesome (refer to here kitty, kitty, kitty)?
:: Yes,
3. Do you like it when I call you Master?
:: Abso-fucking-lutely.

girlonaglide
1. Who would you rather be locked in the slammer with and why: Martha Stewart or Lorena Bobbitt?
:: Martha Stewart. I really want to keep Lil' Mikey in one piece.
2. If you were a WWF wrassler, what would your name be?
:: Pete the Meat.
3. Was OJ guilty?
:: If the glove don't fit, you must acquit.

Michael
1. What is the air speed of an African Swallow?
:: Not really sure.
2. What is the ultimate answer to life, the universe and everything?
:: 42.
3. Why only three questions?
:: Because that's what the silly little thing called for.

Cross
1. Why?
:: Because.
2. Ya go poop yet?
:: Yup.
3. Why did I need to know?
:: I felt like sharing.

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Ten on Tuesday


Ten Words/Phrases You Love to Use

1) Kiss my Lilly white ass
2) Okie Dokie
3) What’s a Nubian
4) Ram Reddy Jakka – inside joke at work
5) Snap
6) That’s retarded
7) Peace
8) Cool Beans
9) Fucktard
10) Rock out with your cock out, Hang out with your wang out, Party like a rock star


Birthday Bash

Keg - $75.00
Tap Rental - $40.00
Keg Deposit - $15.00
Sheet of Plywood - $12.50
Cups - $2.50
Sharpie Markers - $5.00
Ping Pong Balls - $1.50
Ice - $11.50
Trash Can - $8.00


Floated Keg - Priceless

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The Birthday Bash last Saturday was a complete success. It has taken until today to fully relish all of the events to properly chronicle the experience.

Beer Pong was a success. The Dennis and Jason Dream Team was undefeated once again.

The best moment was when my roommate woke up and aked me if someone puked in his bed. I said, "Buddy, sorry to disappoint you but you were alone when I put you to bed. You puked in you own bed."

I had peanuts all over the floor.

And the funniest thing was walking out the front door in the morning with the trash and seeing this.